There's only one informative line in the news item about sextuplets born in a suburb of Philadelphia on Wednesday. The rest of the blip isn't even about the six babies, but filler referencing "Jon & Kate Plus 8" and how rare sextuplets are.
In fact, the situation has been kept so quiet that all that seems to be known is that the newborns are recovering in the neonatal intensive care unit of Abington Memorial Hospital, that they were equally divided boys and girls, and that they were indeed born prematurely.
Names of the babes? Not known. Parents? Not released? Home? Somewhere "nearby."
The world must be stunned at this silence, lack of camera crew and boom mics, and blank screen where we're used to seeing an outpouring of diaper donations, ginormous jerry-rigged strollers and the mother of all conversion vans outfitted with several rows of car seats.
Are these parents even allowed to NOT be media hungry? To NOT sell their 3-pound, 1-ounce babies' souls to the reality TV devil (that measurement is a guess, as somehow exact birth weights and favorite brand of organic bamboo onesies and formula preferences have not yet been released in a PR statement to the media)?
When will we see these multiples? When will we know their rhyming middle names? When will the details of the church volunteer crew's well-timed shifts be detailed in Us Weekly?
IT HAS BEEN TWO WHOLE DAYS, Anonymous Sextuplet Parents! The world -- and quite possibly every cable station that appeals to at-home moms -- wants to know!
- Octo-doc loses license for gross negligence
- Jon & Kate: "I hate to say it, but I related"
- Why one mom loves having a large family
- How Kate Gosselin's parenting style changed