Should your child sleep in their own bed?

My girlfriend has a 2yr old. I personally am opposed to kids sleeping with their parents for a few reasons. 1. Kids need to grow up and learn independence. 2. The older they get the harder it is to break. 3. You may or they may not WANT to start the process of growing up, but they NEED to, so dont try to justify crippling your child's own growth. Im not a cold hearted person, one of the nicest you'll ever meet. I am 21 now and just now understanding why my parents did what they did for me in teaching me how to be a man. Im a pretty smart guy, and if im just now understanding things, KIDS WONT...not calling anyones kid stupid, just a fact that they dont understand...because they are kids and not adults.

Under certain circumstances, like having a 1-bedroom apartment, my 3 year, 3 month old grandson shares the bed with his parents. I, personally do not think it is healthy for kids to be sleeping with their parents. There are intimacy issues, along with other reasons that parents need their own space and it helps a child to become more independant to sleep in their own bed, preferrably in their own bedroom.

I totally agree with yogurt lover on this. WOW what a bunch of naive people!!!
I find it interesting to see that a lot of the ones that are making excuses and saying it's "OK", are now single or divorced women. I wonder if there is a correlation between this and the type of personality one might have in order to ruin their kids life and thier marriage,(let alone any chance of a normal relationship) all because it feels good to cuddle with their kids?
Give me a freakin break!
All the cuddleing is ruining your child!!Trust me, you WILL have behavorial problems stemming from this unhealthy interaction later down the line. At any age is is not right, but at an older age it's scary bad! Especially the implications it makes about the postion of rank among the family unit.
It has to be that the parents have UNITED control over the children or else the family structure tends to systematicly breakdown. Putting the kid in the bed and then the dad on the couch is now a perfect example of showing that child that he or she is above the rank of the father figure in that family unit. Therefore distancing and further immasculating him and in the end, causing the child to act out more against the judgement and will of the parents.
It can be about everything from chores to cleaning their room. The child sees themselves as an equal or somehow above the rationale of what the parents will explain as reasons to take on certain unpleasant life tasks. That means that the kids not believe truly that they don't have to listen, or that one parent doesn't matter at all, and the other is easily manipulated. And guess what... IT'S YOUR FAULT DUMMY!!!
Ya'll need to be careful out there, sleeping with you now can mean more than just a crappy attitude, talking back, and acting out in public if they don't get their way. It can mean that they loose all respect for your descion making abilities, think they can do better because they are now equals with an adult, so now they are pregnant at 15, or worse...
CUT THE CORD ALREADY!!!!! BE A PARENT! and I'm not saying be mean either. Like use your parental wisdom and make acceptions for the sick and scared. Every night if they are sick or scared then they should be sleeping in a hospital bed, not yours.

Both of my kids did off and on until they were about 2. When they did, it was because of being sick, nightmares, fallen asleep watching cartoons in our bed, or it was "slumber party night" with mom and dad. I had no problem getting them to sleep in their own beds.

We have three boys and they have always slept in their own beds. My motto has always been "Two people sleep in this bed and you are not one of them". They started out in basinettes in our room for the first 2 or 3 months - during the very wakeful nursing months and then onto their own rooms/cribs. Now, when someone has a nightmare or is sick, I go to them. Especially if they are sick...I can clean their comforters in the wash...mine is big and expensive, I don't want one of them throwing up on that! My husband is in the military and is deployed for months at a time...one of my babies are always trying to wiggle in then...but I "begin as I mean to go on", so we remain in our routines and they seek comfort in that...regular bedtimes, in their own beds!! When my husband does come home, he doesn't have to fight one, two or three for his spot on the bed. And, when he is home, he needs his sleep...I don't need him doing HIS job bleary eyed for nonesense. And, personally, I know I deserve a good night's sleep as well.

I really have never commented on anything on the internet before, but I am appalled by what I am reading. When you say that "it is easier" to have your children sleep with you, I ask "who is it easier for?" I seriously think you are giving your kids a false sense of security. Then you say when they get to be 5 or 6 then they will sleep in your own bed? You have just made it that much harder because you have programmed your child to sleep with you. How are you going to explain? Are you not making it so that they have to sleep with someone, like people have to sleep with a fan, t.v. or drugs to sleep? I also believe that it is your marriage bed and that is scared, for making babies, not sleeping with them. For the single mom... all the while I was reading your comment I was wondering... what are you going to do when you do meet someone... how are you going to explain that to your little girl. Not only has mommy met someone who she is going to be spending time with, but he is also going to be sleeping with me now? Please, correct if I am wrong, but isn't the point of having children to help them become independent adults... ??

most of the kids I know who sleep with their parents are whiners.

Hello, My name is Shy and I have a 3 year old beautiful daughter and she sleep with me at all times. The Daddy and I don't live together so it don't really bother me that she sleep in her own bed or not. But I will said this when she get 4 and older she will be in her own bed. Because when I do meet the right guy for us. I will not have my child in bed while another man is lying in the bed with me. when your little get 6 and older they needs to be sleeping in their own bed especially if he or she has their own room.

While nursing my second, I realized that I could get some zzzzs while I layed there in my own bed. Mind you, it wasn't the most restful sleep, but it was very peaceful and relaxing. As soon as I was done nursing him, it was off to the crib in his own room. He had already done a lot of napping in there, so he knew what to do. Slept 11 1/2 hrs the very first night! (6 months old.)

First baby didn't get any of that, and she turned out super-fine too.

Just don't drink heavily or do drugs and then sleep with your baby. That is the number one cause of "SIDS."

I dont think that little kids should be sleeping alone in their own bed. I know that in the U.S some parents have a seperate room for their cjildren to sleep in but when its a little kid or baby they should be sleeping in their parents´ room in their bed for safety, cause if the children are in another room something could happen to them and the parents wouldnt even realize cause they are in their room with the door locked..

My 5 yr daughter still sleeps with me, maybe next year she will be sleeping in her own bed but for right now she sleeps with me, I wouldnt want her falling off the bed in the middle of the night and hurting herself so she sleeps with me..Some people think their kids should sleep in their own bed cause they just wanna be alone with their husbands so they can have sex..and thats selfish!! Children´s safete should come first!!

well kid's should sleep in their own bed because once they grow up there gonna want to stay with you in the bed and then when you get mad at them they think you dont like them anymore.I should kinda know that's what is going on in my house after the baby slept im my bed the baby just want's to just keep on sleeping with you.

I think your child sleeping with you is not a big deal until a certain age, my daughter sleeps with me she is 2 now but by the time she makes 3 or 4 i want her to start sleeping on her own. As they get older it gets harder so the situation matters also.

my 8 yr old daughter still sleeps in our bed. I want her out but she is like a boomerang put her in her own bed. She is back again.Can anyone help with this on going problem.

I think a huge mattress with two sleeping adults and a 7lb baby squeezed inbetween them is a horrible idea. Babies should have their own space and bed. I do think that it is ok for the bassinet to be in the parents room for the first few months. Mom and dad need their space and alone time.

I see nothing wrong with your child sleeping in your own bed as long as ever one is comfortable.

I have mixed feelings on this. When I worked - my husband travels through out the month- it was easier when he was an infant( our son is now 3 ) to put him in the bed with me so I could get some sleep. Now that I am a stay at home mom with another baby on the way, I'd like to have my bed back. My husband loves having him sleep with us since he still travels. We ususally let him fall asleep with us then go put him in his big boy bed. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I figure they are only little once and will grow out of it. But, like I said in the beginning, it would be nice to have our bed back

"Family Bed" has been around forever and is still common in many countries. I think it's such a controversy in the United States because we are so focused on being independent. However, pushing our children away isn't necessarily the right thing and it's especially not the right thing for everyone. "Family Bed" offers a bonding time for parents and children, it gives security and is nurturing.

My husband and I share our bed with our three year old. He spent most of his infancy in his own crib in his bedroom and when he became a toddler, he started climbing in bed with us. We tried putting him back in his bed, but either it was a screaming session or he would wake in the middle of the night with nightmares. We have since given in and choose not to fight it. We all sleep very soundly and it's nice to wake up and be able to see that he is okay. When he used to sleep in his own room, I slept so lightly that the slightest noise would wake me as my ears were tuned to the baby monitor. I used to have to get up in the middle of the night to make sure he was still breathing. I don't have that problem with him right next to me.

As far as intimacy, my husband and I find ways. We also plan little excursions and trips away that we never did in the past...which I think keeps things more exciting.

Our son is very secure and affectionate with us and I can't begin to say how much I relish and savor that. He won't be little forever. I once told an old family friend (who also owns her own daycare) that we were having trouble getting our son to sleep in his room. She asked me why I wanted him to sleep in his room? He's only going to be a little boy once and soon it will be difficult enough to get a hug, much less a kiss. Love em and hug em and squeeze them while you can.

As far as age limit, another friend told me that she let her daughter sleep with her until she started kindergarten. Her daughter was so excited about starting school, all she had to do was tell her that she couldn't start school until she started sleeping in her own bed...that none of the other children were sleeping with their parents and if they found out, she wouldn't be allowed to go to school. Her daughter moved into her own bed the very same night and there wasn't a single struggle. I personally think that is a good age to push them towards independence and I think I will use her method.

I think it's fine for the baby to sleep with you. My son slept with us until he was two. Yes, it was a little difficult to get him to sleep in his own bed, but now it's his favorite place. My daughter (who is under 2 years old) is sleeping with us. It just made it easier for me when she was a newborn because I didn't have to get up to feed her and I needed all the sleep I could get. It's really up to the parents. Personally, I always worried about SIDS and it made me feel much better to know that all I had to do was touch her and I knew she was okay, rather than having to get up and go in another room to make sure. That would have driven me crazy.

My kids don't sleep with me, you hear to much horrible stories these days, there is one thing that I learned along the way is if you get them started at a young age then the harder it will be to break them when your ready to sleep alone.

Sydshyne sounds like she has serious issues. WOW...