By Christina Botto
"You just don't care!" your teen screams, and then storms away, slamming his or her bedroom door. You're left standing there wondering "but didn't I just show you that I do???"
You're not alone - many parents are facing the same issue. YOU know you care about your son or daughter, but teens have a very different way of thinking and expressing themselves.
Showing your teen that you genuinely care can be a very difficult thing to do; what may be caring to you as an adult may be superficial, unreasonable, or even come across as cold to your teenager.
We can tell our children a million times that we care, but how do we make sure our teens really get the message?
Here are some crucial steps to take in getting your teenager to understand that you really do care about them:
Talk to your teen - One very important thing that parents often forget to do, whether it is due to their own daily stress or simply trying too hard in other areas, is to just talk to their teen.
Pay attention - Sometimes teens talk about things that you as an adult may not care for. It does not matter what your teen is talking about, just listen to them. Pay attention to what they are saying and you may learn more about your son's or daughter's opinions and ideals.
Be there for your teen - One of the most significant things that you can do as a parent to show your teen you care. Be there when they need you. If they ask for help, or say "I need to tell you something", listen! Take the time out of your schedule to sit down with your teen and show them that they matter.
Treat them like individuals - By experience I know that this is the hardest part of parenting teens. It is important for parents to realize and accept that teens have their own unique set of emotions and feelings, opinions, styles, hopes and dreams, expectations, plans, and disappointments.
Show interest in your teen's interests - To truly bond with your teen, show interest in your teen's interests. It gives you the opportunity to get to know the person within your teen and to bond over shared activities.
Encourage you teenager - In today's world, people often forget to encourage others. During your child's adolescent years, your son or daughter needs all the encouragement they can get.
Things to avoid:
- Don't ignore your teen
- Don't make fun of your teen
- Never take physical action against your teen
- Never tell your teen they're stupid or worthless
- Don't be overly nice
- Don't make false promises
- Don't treat your teen's friends better than you do your teen
Teenage years are a very trying time; one filled with melodrama, high intrigue, and many unhealthy habits. However, parents have the potential to make their teen's life better by showing them that they truly care about their teenager.
Christina Botto is the author of Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works and Fitting The Pieces, a series of e-Books dedicated to helping parents understand and cope with specific teen behavior issues. For tools and resources to help you better understand and relate to your teen, or help with specific issues visit her web site Parenting A Teenager.
Copyright - Christina Botto. All Rights Reserved.
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