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    Six myths about keeping kids safe online

    By Lori Bongiorno
    (Photo: Getty Images)(Photo: Getty Images)

    Keeping kids safe online may not seem easy, especially because today's parents didn't grow up immersed in the technology that our kids are exposed to early on. But regularly talking to your kids about what they're doing on the Web, how they play online games, and when they use mobile phones can go a long way towards teaching them how to act responsibly and safely.

    Try not to get caught up in all the hype that can surround the online world and focus instead on what really matters. Below are the facts behind common myths from child safety expert Dr. Gwenn Schurgin O'Keeffe, adapted from CyberSafe: Protecting and Empowering Digital Kids in the World of Texting, Gaming and Social Media.


    Myth: Predators typically track down kids in real life from their addresses online.

    Fact: Studies have shown that predators are not where our kids tend to be online and usually don't have the technologic capabilities to find our kids from their online addresses. In fact, our views about how predators use the Internet in general have been found to be myths. The Internet Safety Technical Task force found that kids are not as vulnerable to sexual predation as many have feared and they face a greater risk from cyberbullies than predators.

    The Crimes Against Children Research Center says the arrests of online predators make up a tiny proportion of arrests for sex crimes against children - about 1% of all arrest for nonforcible sex crimes against actual minors and 2% of nonforcible sex crimes against 13- to 17-year-olds (pdf).


    Myth: All online discussions with strangers are dangerous.

    Fact: Think about all the strangers we meet every day offline. We chat with and accept help from grocery clerks, police officers, firefighters, department store clerks, and doctors to name a few! By observing our behavior with these people, our children learn that it's OK to interact with these types of strangers, and when they become more independent they'll understand how to negotiate these social norms, whether in person, by phone, or online.

    So let's not panic when our kids have the occasional conversation with a peer they don't know too well. Likely the purpose is innocent, such as homework help, and the contact is someone they may know, at least by icon, which is no different than our own buddy list! The key is helping our kids understand how to build a safe buddy list, to keep their information private, to not meet their online friends offline, and to help them have appropriate limits with their online time.

    Myth: Handheld gaming devices don't connect to the Internet.

    Fact: The vast majority of today's handheld gaming systems, such as the Sony PSP and Nintendo DS, connect to the Internet by Wi-Fi. This means that our kids can connect to the net and communicate with others by chats set up through the games. Once on the Internet via any channel, our kids have access to the entire World Wide Web.

    Myth: Every kid should have a cell phone.

    Fact: When considering a first cell phone for any child, the phone's purpose is essential. Are you considering a phone because every other child has a phone, or is there a greater need such as a medical condition? The cell phone landscape is complicated today by cyberbullyingand sexting. If you do not feel your child is old enough to discuss and understand these issues, your child is not old enough for a cell phone.

    Try and match the phone with the needs of your child. You can still get phones that just call, which is very appropriate for younger kids. And there are phones tailored for young kids that you can program with just a few numbers. Keep in mind that most cell phone carriers now have parent-control features so you can restrict your child from accessing content and features that the phone may come with, such as the Internet or video and music downloads.

    Myth: Social networking is inherently dangerous.

    Fact: Social networking can be safe and often is, if done thoughtfully, age-appropriately, and with a conscious following of stated age limits and privacy rules. Social networking becomes unsafe when parents allow tweens on sites not meant for tweens, such as Facebook or MySpace, and when parents are so uninvolved that young teens do not know how to manage their privacy settings or digital footprint.

    Social networking lets kids socialize with each other as peers. Kids don't have the offline space we used to have with our peers so online has become their peer "corner store" hangout. Social networking can help teens express their creative sides, get involved in causes at school that are empowering, and feel connected to their community and want to be involved.

    Myth: The reason kids use headsets is to totally immerse themselves in a game.

    Fact: The best way to learn what your kids are listening to is to listen with them! You'll be surprised by the lyrics of songs and phrases in games. Many times when kids look like they are "listening" to a game, they have a very different soundtrack running, so pop an earbud in once in a while.

    More from Yahoo! Safely

    · Healthy media resolutions for the New Year

    · What every parent should know about social networking

    · Understanding cyberbullying from the inside out

    · Getting started with online safety

    · How to protect personal privacy

     

    114 comments

    • mistielovespurple  •  1 year 3 months ago
      It's not the sites that are dangerous--It's how your kids use them. I have settings on Facebook that only people who are my friends can see my profile and stuff, so as long as I don't add anyone I don't know I'll be fine. Keeping kids from technology when they are teens and stuff will only want to make them use it that much more; and the wrong way.
      plus you have to educate kids on safety as long as they don't give their information away, it most likely won't be found. No predator has ever found info on a kid, went to the kids house, and murdered them. It's the kid that give them the information and that's how they kidnapped or hurt.
    • coldburn99  •  1 year 3 months ago
      We as humans belive in myths and tend to think the facts are the real myths, It been that way for hundreds of years, we as humans always belive the worest of things that can happen..and sadly fear tactics work always have always will..after the twin towers fell, fear tactics worked didn't they?
      Everyone even adults are scared of there basic fears and the unknown..let me say that again THE UNKNOWN !!!! If you know about a thing how can it hold fear over you..the point is bottom line is fear rules. All your comments after this support this..that fear of the unknown the boogie man on a computer screen and that today's children are dumb drooling morons and not clever what so ever. They are smart and clever and witty, Hell I have younger neice that is 8 and knows more then I did when I was her age and her speach pattern is way older then her age which shocks me some times at how smart she is. "You can not live in fear." Johnny Blaze.
    • Kell  •  1 year 3 months ago
      I have children in grades 3 and 4. They both have to use the internet for some projects. For those of you screaming go to the library, the closest library in my area is a 30 minute drive from my home no thank you. The home computer is in the living room, and I think they are too young for email accounts.

      If somebody really wants to hurt a child, they will find a way to do it, we live in a sick world. That doesn't mean that we should educate our children with fear. Set down rules and follow through with them. Engage in conversation with your children about what is acceptable and unacceptable both in the real world and in the digital world. Children are smarter then they are given credit for, and as parents it is our privilege to educate, guide, and help shape them into responsible adults.
    • Adela  •  1 year 3 months ago
      My son's school recently had this parent meeting with police about internet safety. I didn't go to it, because my 7 year old is not allowed on the computer. There is absolutely no reason for him to be on it. He reads from actual books. He wants to talk to his friends, I contact their parents so he can visit. His teacher said something to him about me not being there. I told him that he won't get onto a computer until he is in high school. Even then, he will not have one in his room and it will only be for school related research. I survived college without a computer. People seem to forget that libraries still exist.
    • Hopeless Romantic*  •  1 year 3 months ago
      Parents are always saying that when they were growing up, they played outside or whatever, yadda yadda, if we ask to go play outside or go to the park alone you parents get all paranoid. people! learn to relaz a little, im not saying to totally let your kids do whatever they want, but trust them a little, they happend to be much smarter than u give them credit for. unless they do something stupid like lindsey lohan. someone should have serioulsy should have given her a curfew or something :)
    • Heather  •  1 year 3 months ago
      I'm 17 and I can tell most of the comments are from parents. Go figure. Parents worry to much. Mine worry just enough. They trust and why shouldn't they? I have a cell phone, why? because I drive. Would I still have it if I didn't? Probably, because I help pay for it. I have a ton of friends who I met online, they have my number and address. I don't go looking for creeps, and if I were to meet someone new that I had met online, it would be in a crowded place. That way nothing could potentially happen, because there are witnesses. I'm pretty sure that every kid listens to different music when playing to a game, who cares? But as for cyber bulling and "sexting" every kid pretty much does it, even your own child, every does it, so parents should be more aware of that then anything else.
    • L  •  1 year 3 months ago
      One 'predator' related thing that doesn't get mentioned often at all that has always been a concern for me (even though I don't have any children) is this: The car window decals that the booster clubs sell. There is NO reason to announce on your vehicle that Sally plays softball for SVHS and her jersey number is 12. It is a source for predators to find your child. They can follow you home, or they can find your child at their next game. It makes me so angry that no one has ever thought of this as a potential threat.
    • joe_thousandaire  •  1 year 3 months ago
      Very good and sensible article. Especially exposing the myths about online "predators", a bunch of paranoid b.s.
    • CB  •  1 year 3 months ago
      If you are curious as to what sites your kids go to, one check out the history in your browser. Internet Explorer has a History button in the task bar and Fire Fox has a button up near File, View Edit options. Check out the sites. Another option is to look your own kid up on Google and see if anything pops up. We found our daughter had an account on the tumblr networking site which allows people to post pictures. A lot of the pictures are adult oriented nudes. Look to wear your kids go, it's easy enough to do and then more importantly, TALK to them and why they like certain sites.
    • della,  •  1 year 3 months ago
      Fact: Facebook recently purged several pages started by members of NAMBLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association) that shared tactics and techniques for grooming kids via Facebook.
      http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/09/28/pedophiles-find-home-social-networking-facebook/

      Fact: Police precincts around the country continue to make online predator arrests and grapple to deal with the problem:
      http://cordis.europa.eu/fetch?CALLER=EN_NEWS&ACTION=D&SESSION=&RCN=33036
      http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/dpp/news/crime/scottsdale-child-predator-arrest-12-15-2010
      http://www.newschannel5.com/story/13641102/sex-predators-finding-new-turf-for-victims

      Fact: It has become fashionable among online safety "experts" to completely dismiss this as a threat based on a few selective statistics. The same report references a 400% increase in online predator arrests from 2000-2006.
      http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-04-28/the-myth-of-online-predators/
      http://blog.internetsafety.com/2009/11/25/parenting-through-the-predator-paradox/

      Fact: Finding predators online is like shooting fish in a barrel. Took me about two minutes:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln-2m3xAHr8

      Fact: Parents need real advice and real solutions, not handpicked statistics, scare tactics, or anything that seeks to unnecessarily exaggerate or downplay the risks their kids face to advance an agenda.
    • Nin Nin  •  1 year 3 months ago
      Social Sites are ok for adults but i'm iffy about kids. but I am not in a place to tell parents how to raise their children. as far as listening to different music when playing games...WTF are you talking about? I play WoW and I am either on a chat program called ventrilo with my friends in the game or I am jamming to my Favorite tunes and sometimes I multitask and Watch TV, Play WoW, and talk on Ventrilo or switch that around to listen to music and blah blah blah. But I do not listen to different music when Playing my game LOL. that is just the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. Anyway, I don't know where you guys get your gaming "statistics" but you guys are probably talking to a very small number of people. lol. I have played online games with kids as young as 7 years old and I believe they were in ventrilo most the time they were even online. NOT listening to music with headsets LOL. Anyway that is my experience.
    • Rose Willow  •  1 year 3 months ago
      As a response to GC Girl's complaint about a boy being murdered by a predator:
      A fellow student at my University snuck out at night to meet up with a 40 year old man he had been talking to (and yeah, he knew exactly who he was talking to). The man 'fessed up to having sex with the boy and claimed that the kid had died in the middle of it. Last I checked, the body was lost.
      The point of the article is to let parents know that without the irresponsibility of the children, these predators can't have much power, and that they should teach their kids how not to be irreesponsible on the internet.
      Running risk of being disrespectful of the dead, that kid made a really stupid decision to sneak out to meet that "girl". The predator wouldn't have gotten so close if the kid hadn't so easily given that information needed.
    • Stacie  •  1 year 3 months ago
      The internet is whatever the kid makes it to be. If the child is not informed on the dangers of the internet, then they will fail at keeping themselves safe. Before a parent lets their child on the internet, they first need to tell them the dangers, what can and what can't be done. What they can tell others and how to use the privacy setting. Also, the parent(s) need to tell the children that they only way that they can get on the internet is if they have their passwords, usernames, e-mails address, etc. and they monitor it daily. Also, tell them that if they delete the browsing history they are banned. There are ways to keep children, tweens and teens safe on the internet as well as adults.
    • RenoTurk  •  1 year 3 months ago
      I still haven't figured out how facebook is dangerous. I guess if you are a complete moron you might put your cc number up there or something.
    • Holly  •  1 year 3 months ago
      zomgbbqsauce!!
    • Snow  •  1 year 3 months ago
      Pfffhahahaha the last one is a load. That'll likely turn more parents off to their child's gaming than on! Hahaha~
      Seriously, the stuff out nowadays in gruesome! ( But no less fun! :D Just be sure to talk to them and make sure the kids know the difference between fantasy and reality. If they can be sarcastic and see things from a literal view, knowing everything is ridiculous, but can still see the value of the entertainment from a fantasy point of view, then they're absolutely fine! So loosen up! Grab a controller and join in! )
    • Eric  •  1 year 3 months ago
      Let's try the real facts that are not going to mislead parents:
      Statement: Predators typically track down kids in real life from their addresses online.
      Fact: Although sexual predators usually do not have the technology or knowledge to track down kids from their IP, email, and other profile addresses; however it does happen. Why risk making your child to be one of the 2% statistics.
      Statement: All online discussions with strangers are dangerous.
      Fact: Speaking with someone in person in public is not the same as chatting on-line with someone who is pretending to be a kid. You don't see grocery clerks, police officers, firefighters, department store clerks, or doctors asking "where do you live" or "can i come over to your house and play".
      Statement: Social networking is inherently dangerous.
      Fact: Social networking without the proper safeguards is extremely dangerous. Kids should not have profiles that identify their full name, birth date, address, or even the city they live in. Caution should always be given as to how any of this information is shared; if at all. If anything is shared, it should only be with friends, and not friend of friends or strangers. Never accept friends who they or you do not know. Caution should be exercised when accepting a friend as they could be someone else creating a profile in that friends name. Look at how many results a name search returns as an indication of potential incorrect associations with friends.
      Final Fact: Parents should be socially vigilant with what their kids do on the internet.
    • Patrick S  •  1 year 3 months ago
      What an irresponsible article! Myths about online safety? Of course I would expect a company that relies on the internet for it's success to downplay safety concerns. Sad.
    • Trenton  •  1 year 3 months ago
      "The best way to learn what your kids are listening to is to listen with them!"
      if they're listing to a game or music, why does it concern?
      ...What are they "listening" to a Porno?
    • kathryn  •  1 year 3 months ago
      I grew up having the internet and being able to chat my parents always made it clear to not tell people my full name or where I live and I just knew not to look up inappropriate things of course there was the occasional curiosity but that was just me growing up, which is okay.

      My parents have always told me whats right and wrong so that when I was alone and had that freedom I would be more opt make the right choices.

      With that being said I think parents have no right to be upset about things on the internet or the tv....It's your child YOU as a parent need to take the responsibility to monitor what your children watch and do..its not the tv or the computers job to monitor that.. Facebook is NOT for 14 year olds originally it was for college students. Also MTV is not for 10 yr olds its for people who are 16 and older.

      And monitor your child from a distance...I know YOU pay the "bills" but do really want to be one of those parents? Your a parent, not a dictator.

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