Supermom is Super Tired

Mommyfriend


I admit it, after I became a mother I became unfairly and unabashedly jaded toward childless people. Not all childless people, just those childless people who incessantly complain they are "so busy" and "so tired" all the time.

I thought I was so busy and so tired all the time before I had kids too, at least I think I did. Then again, my memory of my pre-kid existence is limited to my high school graduation and a piano recital or two. I've always been a mom, I was born a mom or at least that's what it feels like.

Sometimes, when I'm especially busy/tired and I hear a childless person complain, in my head I'm thinking, "You're busy? YOU'RE BUSY?! I work full-time and have 2 kids and homework and cooking and cleaning and errands and…at least at the end of the day your time is your own!" Wow, bitter much? Yuck, that attitude is really ugly and not representative of the person or mother I want to be, like ever. I'm not a mompetitor or a mom one-upper so why do I feel this way?

I feel this way because I'm tired. Really, really tired.

I think I'm jealous (and sadly not in a good way) of people who get to sleep past 6 a.m. on the weekends. People who eat an entire meal seated and people who don't have to move mountains and reschedule their entire universe when they want to go away for the weekend. People who spend their lunch hour actually eating instead of running errands. I miss those things a lot sometimes.

This is my life, the life I chose and the life I love. I adore my children, I adore motherhood but damn, this is hard. So much harder than I ever expected. Half of the guilt I feel is knowing how much harder life really could be. Listen mom of 4, I know you're reading this thinking, "You're busy? YOU'RE BUSY?!" I know mom of 4, I know. The other half of the guilt I feel is knowing how blessed I am to even have these beautiful children, lots of families aren't so fortunate.

I'm blessed in a million ways and yet sometimes, in the midst of utter exhaustion I lose sight of the joy and fulfillment motherhood brings and that makes me feel pretty sucky.

Try as I might, I'm not always happy and satisfied. Sometimes I'm just tired.

And yes, I'd like some cheese with my whine.

Want more Mommyfriend? Click here!