The Great Mom Debate: Are Leashes for Kids Cruel or Kind?

I was the person giving leash parents dirty looks every chance I got until I had my daughter. Every child is different so not all parents even understand it. People say you should teach your child or "train" them to stay next to you. Yeah ok have you ever tried to reason with someone under 2 or 3? My daughter is an explorer and daredevil- always has been and sometimes that becomes dangerous. I personally don't own one of these tethers but I can completely understand why some do.

Here's an idea! Everyone stops assuming that they know what is best for everyone else and their children. For some kids in some situations a leash may be better than letting the kid run amok. Some parents have one kid, and thus it's a little easier to run after him/her if they bolt; harder to do with multiple children. I'd personally rather see a child with a leash than lying injured or dead in the road after having run into the street. Everyone's situation, children and abilities are different so maybe we should cut each other some slack and stop judging one another!

I don't hate the kid leash, especially not the ones with the incorporated backpack. They keep small kids close to their parents/handlers (*wink*), give them more freedom than hand-holding or strollers, and you don't risk the little snots dislocating a shoulder when they suddenly decide they'd prefer to become dead weight rather than walk to yet another boring clothing store.

I am a mother of a 18 month old and I have recently bought a backpack with a tether or leash. I love it. My husband and I took her to the mall with it on. We still held her hand. Why put her in a stroller when she can walk around. And my husband and I don't just ignore our child. We pay very close attention to her. I have more of a fear of strangers getting her than anything. It's the parents choice. And those of you who think it's just for parents that just let their kids do whatever, you are sadly mistaken.

Leashes are for animals! No, kids do not belong on a leash. I have a child not an animal that needs to be tied up. He needs to learn how to behave in public which means EVERY time I am at the mall/store/parking lot/or any where pretty much, I HOLD HIS HAND! We WALK to places, DO NOT RUN AROUND in restuarants/stores/in the house; it is not a playground. My theory is; if I can not control my child/children I should not have any.

Yes, I only gave birth to one but I take-along my nieces & nephews everywhere we go! Ages 4,6,9,10,13 & 14. NONE have ever been tied up.

There is some serious vitriole coming from people who really don't know what they are talking about. I have seen some very good parents using a harness to ensure the safety of their child. Most of the harness users report either limited mobility, more than one child at a time, highy active child, or some combination of them. I had triplets and alternated kids between double strollers (triples are too unruly and can't go in half of the stores in the mall) and a backpack. When they were old enough to walk, I alternated one pushing with me while the other two rode. when they were too big for this, i had them hold hands and walk directly in front of me (I could grab the held hands and get two kids with one hand when needed). I was very fortunate to have my kids all at the same stage of size, understanding, and obedience (mostly). I had an a-ha moment at the zoo a few years later when I saw the local day care with kids hanging on to a knotted rope held by an adult at each end. Is that abusive or wrong too? would you take your child out of that daycare?

If you dislike them because you've seen them used by lazy parents then please consider your office/job. Just because there is a lazy employee in your office, it does not mean all employees in that office are lazy. If the child runs away and gets hurt or worse, the comments posted would accuse the parent of being neglectful.

Using a leash is just lazy. If you can't watch your kid, don't take him with you.

Even though I am not yet a mother, I personally think they are a great idea. Not sure how my future wife feels about them though. I remember running around in public when I was younger and giving my mother a few scares. I can only imagine how scary it is to turn your back for a second only to fid your child missing the next. A leash provides safety and control. A toddlers attention span is about as bad as a goldfish's. Here one second,gone the next. It's not embarassing or cruel. It's just a way to keep some peice of mind with little ones.

I had one for my middle and youngest daughters. They were very close in age and very different personality wise from my older two, who would walk quietly with me from about age 2 on. My younger two? No way! Turn to do anything and off they went. My husband was overseas during their toddler years and I wouldn't have been able to do most of things I did with them without those harnesses. I used them as a parenting tool for the mall, amusement parks, zoos, very crowded spaces where there were a lot of strangers and dangers for children of that age. I did not use them for things like grocery shopping (but only because I couldn't walk with them and push the cart). They were a parenting life-saver and TAUGHT the kids to walk with me quietly and now that they are older they behave themselves in those same places without a problem.

Ha, I'm not a parent, but I definitely think leashes are GREAT for kids. I'm 28 years old, and back in the eighties, my mom used one on me. Why? Because if she turned around once, I would be gone. I disappeared all the time once I got to be 2 or 3. My mom was not lazy by any means, just smart and practical. Kids need to learn boundaries, and this helps wandering kids to learn not to run off. Leashes are not cruel, they are just common sense. I can tell you that I am glad she used a leash on me and some lunatic didn't pick me up. This is the problem these days, people are so worried about hurting their kids' feelings or scared their kids won't "like" them, that they don't set boundaries or give their kids any structure. If you are against leashes for kids, let me ask you: Are you against leashes for pets? Do you think a person is lazy if they have a leash on their pet in public? A child who does not know any better or who can not be trusted not to run away or get in trouble should be on a leash for their safety, just like a pet.

I remember my mom using a leash on my brother when we went to the Grand Canyon and he was 2, maybe 3? I think it depends on the situation.

i don't think that i would personally use one on my children, but i can understand why a parent would. airports, malls, amusement parks can be scary places to have little ones roaming around. i can understand why you would want that extra comfort knowing that your child is always within reach.

My hubby is 6'7", it was pretty uncomfortable for our daughter to walk around holding his hand with her arm above her head all day. We are big fans of the leash - it gives everyone more freedom and safety.

I read somewhere that leases are actually one of the better ways of your child exploring their freedom. Think about a stroller for a minute your child is strapped down so that he is only free to move or explore but one see the world from whatever direction you choose to point them. Is that really better? Then there is the flip side, a lot of parents become helicopter parents when the kids is not secure in the stroller they worry about the child wandering off or being taken just because you turn around for a second and that anxiety is felt by the child. The leash allows you to feel comfortable as a parent and its also lets the child explore his surrounding while understanding the limitations. As they get older and you stop using the leash they will still have that sense of not wandering off too far.

I used one with my middle child. She was very independent and using that gave me a way to let her walk without holding anyone's hand (which made her happy). It also gave me piece of mind knowing that I still had control while letting her think she did!! It was perfect!

Cary, I agree with you. Far too few parents have respect for their children these days. They're worried about their children looking like dogs, while they tend towards training their children how to behave like dogs. Don't do something right, they'll steal a child's belongings, or tell them they are to be trapped in their room. This isn't respecting children, it's using the easiest form of problem resolving to benefit the parent.

Children who have no power at home, will become bullies and try to hold power over others that they have unfairly held over them. They will learn from their parents that it's okay to take from someone, if they've done something wrong. All because their parents were too lazy to bother teaching them how to behave amongst other people. To teach them that there would be fairness and justice at least in their own home.

Parents are supposed to protect their children, and if that means using a leash so be it. Instead parents are using their children, as an excuse or arguement against people who use the leashes. It seems parents will transfer their own views on to their children, when they feel their views will be dismissed, or admitting responsibility for their opinons means they might actually be held to parenting. It's so much easier to attack someone with a valid point or opinon hysterically, with the claim that they're attacking your child. Sure you'll look like you have a paranoid personality disorder, but you're a parent, it should be understood.

So while the lazy parents hold their cult-like control over everyone, insisting that even the slightest remark that's less than positive towards their darling from a non-parent, is reason for attacking them like an animal defending their young. The parents like Cary try to do what's right. While the other parents, use their children as a tool to complain about THEIR discomfort with how people look at THEM when their child is in a leash. See, it's really the parents who dislike using the leash, but they think if they say their child dislikes it, nobody will question them or complain.

As a mother of an (now adult) autistic child, I had to have a leash. But in my era they were worn on the wrist. A simple elastic band tied to my daughter's wrist was enough to 1) set her boundries, 2) give me enough umbilicle to be aware of how hard she wanted away.
Lydia would throw herself on the ground in public in agony all the same as her other meltdowns, but it gave me a way to watch over her without rewarding her efforts with my attention. Once, in a public zoo, a poor, unknowing soul called security on me while my daughter had a meltdown attached to the wrist to me. The guard immediately tried to comfort the stranger and left me to deal with my daughter. At least he understood that Lydia was Autistic.

I wish more people would use them! It's not cruel, if anything it's a safety precaution. I think they look a little silly but there are so much more worse things to do to a kid.

think they are an awesome idea- first used one about 30 yrs ago- got weird looks and once a lady said how dare you & I wasn't shy about saying I KNOW where my child is, do YOU??? ( the ones running around like Hyenas were hers LOL)

I am the mom to 4 sons and a daughter..my sons were all 2 yrs apart..I never used a leash tried it once when we forgot the stroller and i was 9 mts preg. and at the zoo..cause the almost 2 yr old would get lost in the crowd and I couldnt hold him anymore..so I took the tie belt off my dress and hooked it on a belt loop..he looked at me and just sat down..I laughed and said okok..just hold my hand and he did!. ..I talked to my sons and taught the right from wrong and you bet I spanked them..when they did something dangerous or didnt listen..there all adults now and say geezz mom how did you do it..the old fashion way..lots of love..and I stayed home and raised them ..its time to go back to the basic's and raise our kids the way our parents and grandparents did..As for the leash if you have alot of small kids and your hands are full a leash is for there own safety..but when I see 2 parents and 1 kid on a leash im like you have got to be kidding me..the 2 of them cant watch and take care of 1 kids..maybe they should have one!!!