By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK
"Mommy, stop doing your work," my 5-year-old tugged at my pants the other day while I was standing at my computer. "We have enough food and I don't need any more toys. I just need YOU!*" That combined with his big puppy eyes made me go awww! immediately followed by ahhhh... and finished up with ack! as the mommy guilt set in. It doesn't matter whether you work or stay at home or work and stay at home like I do (worst of both worlds, yay!), mommy guilt is easy to come by. And our kids know us so well that they're often able to find just the right phrase to send us into a shame spiral. Here are my kids' classics:
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1. "It's okay, I like wearing dirty clothes better."
2. "I get to help stack the chairs every day since I'm always the last one picked up!"
3. "You can eat my Halloween candy without asking. Again."
4. "Did you have another baby because I'm not cute anymore?"
5. "Ryan's mom paid for my field trip since you forgot to buy my ticket. And you were supposed to chaperone it."
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6. "I always know which van is ours - it's the one that's always parked crooked!" (And the one that all the trash falls out of when you open the door!)
7. "Mmm...it smells like home in here! You know, like dirty diapers and onions!"
8. "Everyone was really jealous that I got a whole pack of gum, a granola bar and five Lifesavers out of your purse for lunch."
9. (On a Mother's Day questionnaire) "My mom's favorite food is...salad because she needs to lose weight."
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10. And the worst one: "Mommy, is this tea party really for Facebook?"
What have your kids said to you that sent your guilt-o-meter skyrocketing?
*And yes, I did immediately get off my computer and play with him!
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