Top 3 Conversations Dads Dread

Seems the best way to ensure your kids don't drink is for them to see a lot of obnoxious drunk people! My ex has always been a heavy drinker (more steady than heavy - just drinks constantly throughout the weekend). He and his wife and their friends are so embarrassing when they have their drunken get-togethers, my teens are turned off to alcohol now and won't try more than a sip; I tell them I'm not naiive enough to think they haven't tried it.
Drugs- I told my kids I tried 'em once - hated it, makes you self-conscious, do stupid things you regret later, and kills brain cells (they are both extremely bright). That was enough to do the trick. Sex, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter. That is a toughie when you have a daughter, and you're a single mom with a long-term boyfriend. Don't want to come across as a hypocrite. It's a tough one. My daughter kept her virginity til she'd been with her BF a year and was off to college, but I would have preferred she waited til engagement, which I told her. I guess that's unrealistic; I know it was for me. I had almost an identical experience as a teen. History repeats itself.
But the far majority of her friends had had sex before reaching their senior year of high school. Ew.

it says jeanna but im the hubby. Boy there sure are alot of druggies out there man o man,I implore all of you fathers out there to have the sex talk with your little girls not your wife, woman think they have all the answers when it comes men & boys they have know clue how the perverted male mind works. The only thing woman know about men and how we are is from the lies we tell them to get in there pants. Who better advise your angel about these 24 hour hard hardon's then us, all the mind games we play, lies, guilt trips, if you really love me you will, i'll only want to put it in one time only. I could go on & on, im sure you ladies get the message. Just be honest with them let them know that there are some guys out there that will wait & respect them, and most important, you have to make a man love you first before you have sex with him or else to us it's just sex, and not making love. And to men there is a big difference. People always laugh at the older generathions obout when they went out they would go with a third party, some one older, to monitor them,And i know that sounds so extrem know, but the one thing the woman of that generation did was to make sure that before they had sex with a man that man was madly inlove with them, you see somthing changes in a man after he has sex with a woman, can't exsplan it it just does, all those thing's she did that you thought wre so cute arnt as cute anymore, that silly laugh you use to like so much know grates on you. But if you love this beutiful woman with all your heart it does't change, and thats why i feel that it should be daddy who has the talk with your little girl.

My parents never had any sort of talk with me. Occasionally, my father would drink, and he smokes too (but not inside the house), but I never have had the urge to drink, smoke or do any drugs.

You know, I never had the sex talk. I just always knew when I found the right guy for me that I didn't want to give him the left overs. I wanted to get him everything. I didn't and still don't see why people rush to have sex. I'm 21 years old and still have not had sex. Yes I am dating someone for almost 9 months now. We are also planning on getting married.. in the future though. We want to live the moment, not rush it. I think it's funny when friends ask us if we've had sex or not yet and they always laugh. I scream in my head "IT'S ONLY BEEN 9 MONTHS PEOPLE!!!" haha. Were both not ready to have a baby right now. Tell her to live her life in the moment and the other stuff will come. I don't think you have to go all into detail since sex ed is around now but just ask her to wait for the right one, and be at least 21 years old. she'll be more mature in knowing who's the right one for her.. not 16 years old. On the cigs, I tried it but never liked it. You could pull up some pictures of aids/hiv/ lung cancer and ask her if she wants to look like that for the rest of her life. That's what I did to myself. haha. Now for the rock and roll talk.. there is never to early of an age(unless cuss words and such are in it). I've been listening to all different types of music since the day I was born.. literally.I'm a country girl but when it comes down to my true fav.s its a toss up between REO Speedwagoon, Frankie Vallie and the four season, boston, eagles, Elton John, and meat loaf. Yes, I have a wide range. haha. But it'd rather listen to the oldies music more than country anyday. It reminds me of when i was younger.. and everything was normal. The drug talk.. I never got that either.. but I've also never have done any drug in my life. Yes, seen it many of times but I've seen growing up what it did to friends and family an knew I'd never want that for myself or my future family. I never get into peer pressure.. I think I'm to hard headed for that. When someone tells me there going to try and get me high or drunk it was a total turn off. So actually peer pressure helped me a lot. Ask her what her goals are in life and really stick to those. Tell her she doesn't need the drugs to make her a better and stronger person, she's a better and stronger person for not using them. :)

well said hobbit!

my parents always had alcohol around. i had my first sip (a very tiny sip) of beer when i was about 2 or 3. my parents got a kick out of my reaction. i always had a shot glass of champagne on new years eve. my mom figured if it was around me and i had little tastes of it that i would be less inclined to drink as an adult. and she was right. i drink maybe once every other month if that, and it's usually just one drink. i'm proud to say i've never been drunk. i think it's more fun to watch the drunks make fools of themselves than to be the fool.

the same thing goes with cigarettes. my parents smoked my whole life. my mom even smoked when she was pregnant with me. being around it all the time made me hate it. i can't stand the smell. i think my hatred for cigarettes has helped to keep me off pot since it's usually smoked. ew. i have no idea where to get it anyway. i think i'd be too afraid of getting arrested. i knew a few potheads over the years and they're total burnouts. their lives are just as pathetic as in the after school specials. i know that's not so for all people who smoke weed, but seeing what might happen is enough to keep me away from all drugs.

my parents did lose the battle with sex and "devil music." i think it's because they were much stricter about those. apparently sex is evil and so is heavy metal. i greatly enjoy having sex with my metal-loving boyfriend. ;)

My parents never had any of the talks with me. Most everyone in my extended family drank heavily and I remember when I was like 5 hearing everyone fighting and acting up because of alcohol. My grandfather died of alcoholism and my uncle almost ran over my cousin because of it, and then a few months later my aunt was almost killed by a drunk driver. I never tried alcohol until I was 18 and only drank a few times before i was 21. After turning 21 it was like "what's the point, get sh*tfaced, wake up sick as a dog just to say I'll never do that again" I had more important things to do. My parents smoked, I hated the smell of it and still gag when I have to put up with it, never tried a cigarette in my life. As for drugs, I really never had a desire to try them. I had a good group of friends that at most maybe 2 of them ever got high and I just didn't have time for it. Not to mention I had no idea how to smoke, hated needles at the time and putting stuff up my nose gives me chills.
As for sex, I wish my parents would have had the sex talk with me, but all things considered I didn't have sex until I was 19, it was my experiment in college but I don't regret any of it. I'm embarrassed by it if anything. I was lucky to never have any problems.

In the end, be a good parent, be honest, talk to them and accept that they will make mistakes and they can always count on you to be there for them. My mom is my best friend, even if she never had the talks, she was honest and always left me know I could come to her if I wanted or needed her. She loved me with open arms and I never doubted it for a moment. She's my number one fan and that's all you need to be for your daughter.

I get the music thing. I was a 90's kid, but I felt like I was living in the 80's because my mum always played those movies and we listened to older songs. We still listened to the popular stuff sometimes on the radio.

My opinion for the music? Play a few albums and see which they like best. Then go on those bands. Honestly, if your child's at three I think whatever you play she'll end up liking it after a few years. I know I did.

I'm the only parent of a 16 y.o. daughter. On a daily basis I tell her how much I love her, that I'm proud of her and that she's beautiful, smart and athletic and musically inclined. Don't be afraid of your children ar to host their parties or to coach their teams (I sucked, but I did it anyway). You can always make money but your kids will grow up and what's more important; what the neighbors think or your childrens love?

Uhhh, these are discussions I imagine mother OR father would find difficult. That's right, let's sympathize with the difficulties of FATHERS while we CRITICIZE mothers. Mmmhmmm.

My parents never tried to hide things from me. The hard alcohol in our house is in plain sight, but I never felt compelled to try it. I could easily steal their prescriptions if I was so inclined, but I've never wanted to. They allow me a great deal of freedom because I work hard in school and in life and they trust me, and I've never abused that freedom.

Just stay open with your kid and candidly talk to them about these things as they grow up. It doesn't need to be one weighty conversation - just occasional exchanges as they grow up. Those have the biggest impact.

You should definitely be open and really honest with your daughter. In my family, I'm the youngest and the only girl and my parents just assumed that since I appear to be so innocent that I'll never try anything. Well, they were wrong. Whenever I tried to talk to them about sex, they just told me that I was too young and shouldn't do it b/c people might take advantage of me (I was 16). Well, I was in a 2 year relationship and I ended up doing it. Everything was fine, but I just wanted to talk to my mom about it. The same thing with birth control, be open about it b/c wouldn't you rather know all the things that she's doing and help make sure that she's safe?

Lying to your child is not right. My mom never lied about trying drugs. She told me what she tried and why me and my brother should never try them. My brother and I never tried. My mom told us my dad was not her first but my mom was my dads first. My husband is my first and only and we will tell our kids I was not his first and only.
Let your child gain wisdom from your mistakes or misteps.

Don't lie about how many drugs you did. You should be perfectly honest, because no one knows the stakes better than you, no one knows the reality of drugs better than you. I have an older British friend who was a high-end drug dealer in his youth, he saw tons of shit and in the end he wound up in jail in Iran, and it was a total miracle that he got out. He has 5 grown up sons, and his best protection for them against drugs was humbly and honestly telling them his stories and showing them the danger that lies behind all the glamour. And, I'm glad to say that all his sons are completely clean, despite being really wild characters, because their dad had the guts and respect for them to be totally honest.
It's like being a surfer and knowing that there are sharks on a certain beach. You don't go there because you have a friend that got mauled there, and you learned from their mistake that it's dangerous. Of course, your daughter has to make the decision to learn from your mistakes, but in the end it can only help you to be upfront and honest with her since the beginning. God bless...

My mom always told me "do as I say not as I do" lol. at 20 yrs old we both agree that I have turned out alright. She never hid alcohol from me, instead once I was in my teens she allowed me small drinks here and there, usually off her wine cooler. As a result I have never felt the need to drink at a party while watching my friends get trashed. She didn't hide ciggs either, I tried them once and coughed so hard I haven't touched them since. When it came to having sex, I beat her to the conversation. However, when I posed the issue hypothetically she didn't yell or scream, she just told me to be careful and go get birth control. So yea I made my share of mistakes, but knowing my mom would be disappointed ( not angry, not screaming, not crying, just disappointed) curbed the rebellious teen in me. my mom is my best friend, but she's also my mom when it counts.I think that is what matters the most. So when your daughter says "dad did you do drugs?" look her in the eyes and say yes I did. Then tell her what it was like. Tell her you don't want her to do drugs and she better believe she will be grounded if she does, but if she screws up you are still gonna love her. And you will always be her ride home.

heyy, im 13yrs old and my dad already tried the sex talk~~ it went horrible i already knew everything that he was saying and it was very awkward. I hope he never tries it again. But my dad isnt really open to me, his mom told me that he used to do drugs when he was a teenager but she made him quit right away, when i asked my dad about it he said "who told you that"?! sounding really mad and then never said anything else. I would never do drugs!! But i dont really think drinking is thaat bad. Sometimes when i go to my friends house theyre having a little fruity drink or something, When they ask me if I want any I try to say no but normally they would say that i wouldnt get in trouble and to just do it. So i tried it and it tasted okay..... But i do feel very bad for doing that even though im not much of a good kid. I sometimes sneak out of the house and goto my friends house or just go moped riding and quad/ dirtbike riding in the middle of the night.... Its normally REALLY fun!! But the other day i was with my friend timmy and he was comming to close to me trying to scare me but then i was by the far side of the rode and i slid. I got hurt pretty bad.:( And knocked out and couldnt see for like 3 minutes... i was really scared i mean should i go home and what was i gonna tell my dad. Oh and my mom died when she crashed on a moped when i was a baby, so my dad never let me ride mopeds.... So i went home super bloody and i thought everyone was asleep but my dogs barked and woke my dad and brother up. I unlocked the front door to see my dad standing right there looking like he was gonna KILL ME!! i was sooo scard and hurt i was probably shaking. My dad told me to get cleaned up and then "we'll talk". I washed everything out and had to go get stitches on my knee which hurt like hell. Anyways after a little while my dad told me to explain and i didnt have anything to say. He basically knew what happened and WE didnt talk HE YELLED!! lol I think i got what i deserved but i still havent learned my lesson...

My son is 7 and from time to time we watch the show intervention together. I am not sure just how much he understands about how being an addict has affected the lives of the people on the show, but I know he sees the pain on the faces of the family members. He will make comments about how dumb they are acting or how they shouldn't do this or that. I did dabble in drugs as a youth, but it never appealed to me.
As far as drugs I think my mom did it best. She asked me if I was a virgin. I said no, expecting the 20 questions and a lecture, but she simply asked if I was currently sleeping with anyone. I said no. She told me that when I was ready she would take me to the OB to get on the pill, no questions asked. It was a great way for her to handle it, it made me realize that she wasn't going to judge me. A year later I asked to9 go to the doctor and she kept her word. No lecture at all.

my oldest son lived with me during my crack cocaine days. u think he would steer clear, but nope he just recently celebrated 7 yrs clean 15 for myself. Be honest

well my mom didnt hide drinkin from me... she didnt want me to drink either and the reason I chose to drink when I did wasn't because we didn't have the talk. As kids we look at our parents and watch their moves and we pick and chose what we want to copy and we learn from their mistakes. My mom was an alcoholic so I stayed away when everyone else was tryin things they had no business. As an adult I chose to drink when I want but responsibly. Havin an honest talk with our children is the best idea to me. I think we need to tell them before the streets tell them their version. Honesty can only keep the doors open for communication down the line.

my mom and dad instilled in me and my sister that if you are going drink do it at home so we can make sure you are ok.... but for the drug thing it was a understanding we did not do anything "Stupid" in their house. (that is the reason i got my tat after i got out of the house) As for the sex it was VERY open, "If you are going to do it you be the one that takes the measures to be safe with it" said Momma years ago... and as for the rock and roll i was given the great chance to hear all the greats at a young age. and i Love the 60's 70's 80's Rock and some of the new stuff but i still found my way to other kinds of music and that is the way i'm going to be with my kids

As for the drug talk, I would be very open with your daughter and tell her what you've done and the dangers. Let her know that drugs are not alright and that there will be consequences for using them. When I was younger, my parents would smoke pot in front of us and it gave off the idea that it was okay. Because of that my brother is now a pothead and I've more than dabbled myself. They did tell us about other drugs and how terrible they were and I have no inclination to ever do them and neither does my brother even though he smokes pot.
The sex talk is so important and it is important to address it when it is brought up by the child (if it is early) or when they hit puberty. I was never given a sex talk when I asked. The response was always "You are too young." so I decided to look it up in an encyclopedia and found out the basic idea on my own. I didn't know about protection or abstinence until I got to middle school which in my opinion is too late since many of my friends were beginning to experiment with sex already. I think just being straight forward and honest when she comes to you with questions is the best way to go.
Now the Rock n Roll talk, I think that it would be good to start early. Put on your music and let you kids hear it and relate memories to certain songs. My parents would play everything from Hank Williams to Bach to Flock of Seagulls to Ozzy, ect. and my taste has been influenced like theirs. I have developed my own taste in music and they don't care for most of the bands but at the end of the day my favorites are always the old music my parents introduced me to. Plus, maybe your daughter (like I have) will introduce you to some good music you might not have thought you liked.
Good luck!