After suffering countless punishments, humiliations, and just plain stupidity on my parents' part, I decided
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
While sitting down and reliving some of my worst childhood memories, I compiled a list of the things my parents (and other parents mostly likely) did - that they really shouldn't have.
So here you go: The 11 Things That Parents Do to Ruin Their Kids' Lives
- Give your child a public beat- down: So your kid did something horribly inappropriate and you want to set them straight. Disciplining them is crucial, but must you do it in front of innocent bystanders, family members, and worst of all- their friends! Wait until you are in a private place before giving your child the "business". Discipline is not meant to be a show. Not only is it permanently scarring to your child, it is downright awkward for the onlookers.
- Set a Horrible Example: So you tell them not to lie, but they overhear you on the phone, bragging to Mr or Mrs so and so, about your successful, thriving small business. So , since when exactly did selling things on e-Bay counts as a business? Go figure...
- Be a dream- crusher: How many times have you shrugged off your children's ideas, or told them that their dreams of being president, or a superstar are unrealistic. Encourage your kids to be the best at whatever they desire to be. Your child will have enough critics. Do not be one of them.
- Stick to them like glue: Kids hate when their parents are overbearing and overprotective. It makes them feel like you don't trust them and lets face it- it is humiliating to have to hold your hand at the mall. Even more importantly, being overprotective only encourages your kids to become a wild child when they finally break free of your vise-like grip.
- Control their relationships: "You'll date when you're thirty!" Have you ever said- or rather yelled- these ridiculous words to your child? Let's hope not. Relationships are rarely a serious thing with kids. It's almost always on and off crushes, puppy love, or whatever you want to call it. Do not freak out if your "baby" wants a boyfriend or girlfriend. Remember: they are growing up, it's all a part of the process.
- Punish them the WRONG way: So you ground them for the rest of their life, for that D on their report card, or take away their phone for being a minute late for curfew. Do you honestly believe these trivial consequences will fix the issue. How about actually TALKING to your child (gasp!), and getting to the source of the problem, rather than handing out irrelevant or harsh punishments.
- Make them prisoners: Is your child an animal? Didn't think so. So why do you lock him/her up inside your house? Let your child go out, let them have fun. These are the best years of their lives; help them enjoy it. There's enough time for them to be cooped up and depressed when they are working, paying bills, and have kids of their own.
- Expect them to be a reincarnation of you: Your children are beautiful, amazing, one of a kind individuals. They are not you. They will have different ideas, dreams and goals. Do not fight it. Expect it. Embrace it even. Maybe your child wants to be an artist, but you were hoping they'd take over the family business. It's not the end of the world. They are growing and exploring new things. Let them explore these opportunities and give them what they need most, your support, not your disapproval.
- Forget when the time is right: Your kid comes to you crying over a break up. Do you say "I told you so" Are you harsh and judgmental? Remember, there is a time and a place for everything. Be understanding when it is time to be understanding, and be stern when it is time to be stern. Forget the lecture, the blame, and the righteous fist thump, sometimes all your kid needs is a little love.
- Keep bringing up the past: When your kids screw up, there is no need to compare it to all their other failures or wrong- doings. Yes, they are very aware that this is like the time they took the car without asking, or forgot to lock up the dog; and believe me, they clearly remember that you did tell them so ; no need to rub it in. Be able to just let things go. Stop haunting your kids with all their past mistakes. They will learn their lesson; just move on, so they can too.
- and most importantly... Forget what it was like to be them: you were a kid too some eons ago... or did you forget? Yes, you screwed up, you went through heart breaks, and suffered through the hells of high school. Don't be so condescending and arrogant. Be loving and nurturing. Your kid is going through the hardest, most insecure phase of their life; and all that's really stable in their topsy-turvy world right now is you.