User post: Don't tell Gloria Steinem, but I'm happy being a stay-at-home mom

I have a secret and I have been afraid to say it out loud for some time now. My fear was that by recognizing it, I would be admitting defeat for myself and somehow showing disrespect for all the powerful women who've paved the way for me. I am afraid my admission might, at worst do damage to a movement and at best force judgement upon me. This fear has caused my silence, until now.

Today, as I made breakfast, balanced the checkbook then browsed the aisles of a kitchen gadget store I recognized within a familiar feeling of bliss. I knew right then that it was time to come clean.

My secret? I love my life as a wife and mom. That's right, I said it. I am more than satisfied with my roles in life despite the fact that they don't fit into the definition of what we as women should want, what I thought I wanted for years or what women fought so hard for us to have.

Let me assure you, I am not who you think I am. I am married to a man who supports everything I choose to do, in or outside the home. I am the child of a woman who had a job that she loved. I am the sister of a woman who played college basketball at the very start of Title IX. I have more strong female role models than I can count. If I didn't, you might understand. Right?

I am not rich. My life does not include nannies and manicures. In fact, I can rarely afford a babysitter and more often than not I paint my own toenails. If I lived a life of leisure, you might understand more. Right?

I am not easily satisfied. I live in a major metropolitan area with plenty of opportunity. I have an advanced degree. Up until a few years ago I had a career and goals for my professional future, which (perhaps ironically) involved mentoring other women to reach their goals. In case you are thinking I am someone who has no aspirations or ideas for success in life, you are wrong. I know what it is to be driven. I understand what it is to want more. If I didn't, you might understand. Right?

And yet, I run car pool. I make meals from scratch and cookies for school parties. I wash loads and loads of laundry. I read Good Housekeeping-cover to cover. I sit on school boards and run PTA committees. I also work for money outside my home. I have a little business where I teach women about childbirth and advise new parents on nurseries and registries and life with babies. I sometimes get paid to write. In my daily life, I have to be strategic and work a budget and plan every day so that we can live large on a tiny purse. I am always busy but nothing I do would garner much professional respect at a cocktail party. And yet, somehow I am happy. Really, really happy.

I used to be ashamed of this. I used to be afraid to admit that staying home with my kids and working jobs just to make money actually is enough for me. I thought by happily stepping off a career path I was not only failing myself, but more importantly disrespecting the women who fought and worked hard for my generation to be able to choose whatever career we wanted.Then I realized that this is the life that makes me happy and it is a choice I make to live it. And isn't that what the fight was all about-freedom to choose whatever it is that gives us joy?

So, I say thank you Gloria Steinem and Sandra Day O'Connor. Thank you, Liz Phair and Tina Fey. Thank you to all the women who once fought and who still speak out for a woman's right to pursue her passion. It is your strength that allows me to choose what makes me happy, right here in my home.