I saw the recent post about questions that really annoy teens and tweens, and decided to read it. I can guarantee you that it was written by an adult. No disrespect intended, but if you really want to know what turns us off, shouldn't you ask a teenager? Come on! So, if you are interested, here are the seven real things that annoy me and my friends, who just happen to be teens.
I am 15, and a pretty average teenager with very strict parents. Here is my perspective. This is not supposed to be disrespectful.
1. Saying "Because I am the parent."
This probably annoys me more than anything my parents do. When you say this, no matter how good your actual reason is, we feel like 6-year-olds. It is so disrespectful. Just because you are the parent does not mean you can do no wrong. Plus, it makes is seem like you just want to make us miserable. I know this isn't the case, but if you can't think of a logical reason then don't be surprised when we question it. "Because I said so," fits in this category too.
2. Being Hypocritical
This means making us listen, and then not giving us a chance to explain our side of the story. This means if you want an open relationship with us, to not yell when we come to you with problems. This means to not yell at us for doing something wrong, and then going and doing the exact same thing, whether it is fighting with siblings, staying up late, or cussing. For example, my parents don't let me drive with teens, which would be fine if they didn't complain about driving me everywhere. Choose a side please! Actions speak much louder than words. Also, don't demand respect if you are not willing to give it out.
3. Forcing us to have "Family Time"
As much as you don't want to believe it, we want nothing to do with family right now. We don't want to be seen going to the mall with the whole family, or waste a Saturday night sitting around with you. I know it hurts, but you were the same way. Please, don't force your teens to include a little sibling when friends are over. It will just cause tension. I promise you, if you don't shove family down our throats, we will actually want to hang with you. Believe it or not, we might ask you to chill!
4. Acting like being a teen is a walk in the park. It's not.
I realize times are tough, and it bites to be an adult. Working and supporting a family is hard. But please keep in mind, we go to school instead of work. It actually takes a lot of effort. I am required to get a perfect GPA, and be very involved in "wholesome extracurricular activities." I go to student leadership meetings at 6:30 in the morning, then go to school for 8 hours, then go to various club meetings, followed by sports practice, then come home to do a few hours of homework. It can get really frustrating when you act like we don't work hard. Plus, we are teens with hormones, and everything feels so intense. It really can take its toll sometimes.
5. Not Letting Go
We aren't babies. We are going to kiss, drive, have relationships and be independent. Give us reasonable boundaries, fair ones please. But when you freak out about kissing, it's out of control. Put it in perspective. In high school, kids do horrible things. Be thankful your child isn't smoking or drinking or having sex, which is not okay. We know that. But in order to gain our respect, you have to let us grow up and grant a little freedom. No matter how much you want to change it, little Suzy is going to kiss her boyfriend, and Timmy is going to learn to drive.
6. Acting like our emotions are meaningless.
If we're mad, there is a reason. If we're crying, the pain is real. Don't say we're being dramatic, and please don't force us to participate on a day were not feeling up to it. Try to cheer us up and if there is nothing serious (depression) going on, leave us alone if we ask. And don't tease us about it. If you respect our feelings, we will respect yours. Plus, if you try to be understanding, we're more likely to come to you about issues you need to know about.
7. Saying hurtful things.
Please, watch what you say. A friend of mine had parents who put her down about her looks. Mine call me horrible things when we're fighting. Sometimes, you can say the absolute wrong thing and the very worst time. No matter how angry you get, or if you are joking around, never tease or yell things at teens that could be offensive. We will remember it.