Who has it easier, married or single moms?

I LOVE being a single mother. I do not envy my married friends at all. I have been a single mother for 7 years. It is just so much easier. I only worry about myself and my son. I can raise him to be a good, decent man without someone else interjecting their disdain that I teach my son to clean and be a good husband some day. My married friends have the typical husband: The wife works a job, comes home to clean, take care of kids and cook for them. The man works during the day and sits in front of the TV at night. NO THANKS!!!!

ps. I have no family that helps me. If I want time off, I hire a babysitter or I deal with it. If the majority of men weren't children themselves and had to be told what to do, when to do it, we single mothers wouldn't be in this situation.

i am single mom of two and there are pros and cons about it. I love my babies and take pride in the fact that all they will become is soley because of me. It would be nice if there was someone else to help me but that's not my reality. The cons are i don't get the alone time that i see some of my other friends getting who are single mothers, I can't jump up and go when i please, and having a social life is difficult if not next to impossible. I would love to have an active social life that isn't dependent on me either finding a reliable babysitter or putting them to sleep and being on a "time restriction"...

Nearly all of those that left comments are either divorced or widowed moms! How about the millions of 'never married' girls & women that got pregnant, unintentionally? I'm sure many, if not most, would like to have their old carefree life back, before the days of nightime feedings,
childhood illnesses,costly childcare, etc.
Check into who wrote this article & I would bet that it was written by a 'man-hating' individual or group, desperately trying to encourage as many women as possible to choose this lifestyle over traditional marriage!

Seems like single motherhood definitly has more ups then downs. From my experience anyways. No compromising on simple everyday decisions. No husband drama to work out. All my time and energy goes into my children. If I need advice, I simply talk to my friends, co-workers, family.

THIS is from a single mom. Yes making all the decisions are wonderful and all but have that male around for them is so impor tant that I wonder if i am doing the right thing. I am very lonley and for years ive tried to sacrifice the happiness for ythiers.

i believe it is best for a child to have both parents only if they r good parents. it does the child more harm if you stay together if one of the parents are not happy. when u have children your life should b devoted to them for 18 yrs. you 7 your husbands needs come last.

I'm a single mother of an extremely hyper 3 1/2 year old. Part of me loves doing it by myself, I don't have to worry about someone getting mad about my parenting style, I don't have to check with anyone else's family for holidays and such. But it's painful in it's own ways as well. I have little to no backup, I find myself fighting a battle of wits with my little ball of energy. I'm fully aware that she has the attitude sometimes because she wants my undivided attention, but as a single mother, I don't exactly have the luxury of devoting all my time to her. So ultimately it's both good and bad compared to a 2 parent family.

After dealing with a horrible marriage, I am glad to be a single parent. It is so much easier to do things the way I want them done. I have family close by for help, so we are ok. I'm glad I don't have to fight with anyone about discipline, money, etc.

Hey Shortcake...who died and made you the boss??? Sorry, but your "rules" on how to define a single parent are just goofy. Anywho...I'm a single parent to a 6-year old, and like most of the other posters have already said, it's a lot of work. In a way, however, it's easier than when I was married to the father of my son. He didn't work, didn't help out one bit around the house, and never helped w/our son. He was like an irresponsible teenager...another child that I had to take care of! When he left, the entire responsibility was on my shoulders, as it had always been. But I did (and still do) feel like I'm flying without a safety net. Once kink in the day sends everything into a tizzy, since my schedule is orchestrated w/the precision of landing a plane on an aircraft carrier. Having a partner would lessen that anxiety. And like the others, I too would kill for some "me" time.

Yep, being a single parent is hard, but I wouldn't change it for the world! My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me!

Being a single parent is probably the hardest job in the world. You have your ups and your downs. You just got to roll with the punches. the best thing I've learned is not to stress about the little thing's. Take time for yourself as much as posiible. I do miss having someone there for extra support, however i don't miss all the argument's i use to have with my ex, because he refused to compromise. As much as I loved him, i had to let him go. Thank God that despite us separating, he pays his child support and visits his son when he can.. Try your very best to not be bitter or resentful. Trust me, the kid's pick up on the negative energy you give. Instead be as positive as you can. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. The YMCA has a mom's night out program that you can take advantage of when you feel you need a break. You'll see that if you do make time for yourself, you'll be less stressed. I just went salsa dancing 2 weeks ago. What a great time I had. Dancing was something my ex never wanted to do. Being a single parent can be very rewarding if you do what it takes to take care of you and put yourself first for a change...

i just wanted to point out to the people who say that this post was put up to glorify single parenthood might want to re-read the blog. this does not in any way, shape, or form glorify single parenthood. it questions the difficulty level of being a married/coupled parent vs a single parent. not a glorifcation. it also mentions the stats about how many women/men have become single parents. ie; divorce, broken relationship, in a good relationship, etc.

I absolutely feel that for the most part it is easier in the sense that as a single parent you can run the show how you see fit. I have two children with two different fathers. My oldest has her Dad involved in her life 100% - my son hasn't see his father in over two years (he's only 2 1/2 so really he doesn't know his Dad). While it admittedly IS nice to have a break when my daughter spends half the week with her Dad having the second parent involved causes stress as far as the two parents having to be in agreement about things. So for instance, while it is fine to give my son soup for breakfast if that's what he wants, my daughter's father feels breakfast food is for breakfast, lunch for lunch, etc., and as dumb as it is, I get slack from her Dad when I dole out the campbells for breakfast....

I've been a single mom for 17 years. It's been very rewarding. My daughter will graduate in June and then it's off to college. I wish all the parents of "little ones" would stop complaining about all this "me time!" There is no I in team, and that's what you and your children are ;a team. Cherish the days that they are small and needy because one day they will be all grown up and independent of you and you will wish for the days that you used to share.

Wow.

I can't think of anything better than what Jerry K wrote.

If you rolled your eyes when you read it, then- SHAME ON YOU! Read it again, you obviously need it!

I've done it both ways, and hands down, being a single mom is better. I get to spend more time with my daughter and don't have to listen to someone complain or criticize everything I do. I always believed in 2 parent households until I married my (now) ex. If my daughter were asked, she'd tell you really quickly how much better things are at home now. She just told me so the other day. Yes, a great Dad is a wonderful thing to find, but unfortunately, there don't seem to be many out there.

hell no

Sorry to burst your bubbles but when people hear the term “SINGLE MOTHER” it always associates with a woman that was NEVER married ( the babies momma!!) ; the difference being such a woman probably will truly be a single lonesome” mother, no spousal support (monetary or otherwise).

The ones that are divorcées (falsely calling themselves “single”) don’t count; 9 out 10 times divorcées are in better shape financially speaking specially if they married partners that had some means = more money…I would like to see all these women forego their child support payments/alimonies or extra settlements and then comeback and chime on how fun life really is!!

In the end life is tougher for the real “SINGLE mothers especially if they don’t have extended family support (mother, aunts, etc).
Society is to blame with the glamorization of out of wedlock births; this is portrayed in movies /TV series and the Hollywood actresses as being the coolest of them all.
People often forget that these women/actresses pull 7+ digits bank accounts; compare that to the paltry $25-30K single moms can barely make!!

Also the more successful people in life generally come from two parent homes, two incomes provide better alternatives in daycare, school, college and life in general…of course this is not PC but it is the true…

I think it depends on the situation and the perosn that is involved. Because my mom was a single parent for a while. Even though my dad paid child support, my mom had family to help look after me when I was younger and she worked. And she definitely enjoyed her freedoms then, and even after a time when she married my dad when I was 7 or so and she couldn't work anymore she found that a bit easier too because she could help me with my homework and school stuff full time. So yea just depends on the woman and her circumstances.

I am a single mother to an 8 month old boy who has more energy than he knows what to do with. I was with my boyfriend off and on for 16yrs when I got pregnant. Our plan was to get married, but after living with him I just couldn't do it. At this point, I'm sad that he is the father of my son because I don't feel like he has the ability to teach him how to be a man. My son's father is involved in his life. I work and go to school full time so he gets him 2 nights a week...more if I need him to. But financially, he doesn't help out. Originally we said we would go to court but I was trying to be the "nice guy" and just came to a mutual agreement regarding a monthly amount. Well, he has yet to hold up his end of the financial bargain...so yesterday I filed child support papers.

In the beginning it was rough when he moved out...never being able to say here honey, take the baby while I do whatever it is I need to do. But now, me and my little guy are in a rhythm and it's great. I do miss him those 2 nights that he is gone but by me being in school I know that everything will pay off in the end. I never wanted to be a single mom, but I did want to be a mom and at 28 it finally happened. I'm not even interested in a relationship at this point in my life...just doing what it takes to make sure my little man will have everything he needs!