Why I'm Telling My Kids I Used Illegal Drugs

As a recovering alcoholic and addict of over 13 years, I have had a lot of time to reflect on how I would tell my kids if I had them one day. Well, I now have a 9 month old boy and am currently pregnant with his little brother or sister (too soon to tell). In truth, it doesn't worry me because I worked very hard on my sobriety and still see a therapist to this day (though I don't really deal with the drugs/alcohol stuff at the therapist anymore - mostly everyday ups/down and how to deal with work/family problems). Since I have an addictive personality (as every addict does) and my husband, who is also a recovering addict, has an addictive personality, we know our children have a good chance of becoming one too due to genetics. But we also know that environment and how a child is raised also plays a big part in addiction. So, we have decided to work hard at the things we can control - how we raise them and the examples we set for them.
We also learned (me through my years of therapy and my husband who has attended anonymous meetings for years) that lying about our past to anyone, especially our loved ones, is a recipe for failure. I will tell them the truth and show them that there is truly an ugly side to addiction. Like anything new, it seems fun and exciting, but over time it can eat away at your life like acid. I will tell them that if they feel the need to hide what they're doing, then they already have a problem. As scary as talking to your kids about drugs is, it's much, much scarier to watch someone in the thick of addiction. While your kids may try drugs one day and never become addicted, as we all have learned from the news, not every person who dies of drugs is an addict. Tell them the truth. The more knowledgeable you are on the subject, the more they will be and be better abled to make a smart decision when the time comes.

I too think about this issue a lot. I have a toddler and one on the way and often think of the things I did that were extremely dangerous and could have gotten me killed or accidentally hurt or killed the others that were involved with me. I have done a lot of different drugs and been in some terrible places and seen terrible things. Luckily I had the capability to get away from it all and am now in a good place, but I wonder how to deal with the discussion when the time comes. Do I tell them I did it and will they say "well you tried it why should I not be able to?" or do i keep it from them and just watch for the signs? Like you I enjoy beer and wine; and according to some prude shlub who writes definitions for the government I drink at a rate that considers me to be an alcoholic, however I have a good job and it doesn't interfere with my life so go figure. I think a lot of it has to do with the environment of the household they live in and what type of upbringing they have. I was alone most of the time during my teen years so I really had no one to tell me I doing anything wrong. I never had to worry about getting caught. Another issue is that I have some family members that still partake in recreational drug use, while not public about it, it still takes place. I don't know that there is any good answer to the question of do you tell them or not, I hope that as their parent when the time comes I will know exactly what to do.

I also intend to be honest with my children when the time is right for them. We all make mistakes...once we learn from them is when we gain our wisdom.

I've never done anything like that, and have never even been drunk, but I don't judge. Personally, I still don't have a terribly personal relationship with my parents, but I do wish they'd tell me stories about how they screwed up and what they learned from it. It humanizes and helps kids realize that their parents can make mistakes.

Of course, keep it age-appropriate and don't present it at a time when the knowledge of it might undermine your authority as a parent. ;D

My kids came home from kindergarten and told me and my husband we were drug addicts because I drank wine and he smokes.

With a fiance who is a recovering addict, I feel it is important to share this information with our children when the time is right. Once they are old enough to understand the consequences drugs can cause is the right time to tell them. There is no point in hiding something that could potentially keep them away from drugs in the future. My father is a cocaine addict and I came home from school one day to find out he went to "rehab." I had no idea what that even was and I was very scared and confused. After an explanation I had more of an understanding and knowing and seeing what my fathers drug use had done negatively to my family, I have never followed the same path. I have tried things here and there, but I would never want it in my life. I feel that telling our children about our life experiences is important, negative and positive.

I intend on being honest with my children, but as a warning to them. Both sides have a long line of addicts and although I used "socialy" it doesnt change the fact that at times my socialness was 3-4 times a week. Talking about this is a life long chat, you cant just sit them down lecture for 30 minutes and thats it, the pushers arent going to hear no once and then leave them alone. Its a constant reinforcement from parents because its constant from their peers and media.