Why I Stopped Homeschooling

People have an understandable but mistaken idea that the point of school is to educate their kids. The point of school is to socialize kids, under the pretext of providing a very basic education. Anything you actually want your kid to learn, you will have to teach him yourself, outside of school hours.

This was how my mom explained it to me when I was in 3rd grade, after my only similarly-introvered friend was pulled out to be homeschooled by his parents. She told me that it was up to me to keep learning at home, with her and my dad and my sister and on my own. I still had to go to school, she said, because there was a game that we all had to play for the rest of our lives, and being at school with other kids was the only way I was going to learn how to play it.

I'm not convinced that school effectively provided me with even that kind of education. I learned a lot of lessons about how to hide my intelligence and avoid drawing attention to myself, lessons which I am only now un-learning and finally moving beyond. At 24, I'm not more socially skilled than my friend who was homeschooled off and on from 3rd grade on up, but I do have more self-doubt and social anxiety. I have not yet decided whether I'll send my kids to school, but I do know that, even if they are public-schooled, they will be home-EDUCATED.

1. Get rid of your TV, Wii, iPad
2. Find a playgroup or friends

Finally, not sending a preschool-aged child to preschool doesn't really count as homeschooling yet. You don't really need glorified daycare.

there's no need to "homeschool" a preschooler. find a good daycare, most of them do try to teach the 3 & 4 yr olds their shapes & letters, & colors. really shouldn't worry about homeschooling until your child is actually IN school...

I've sometimes wondered if home schooled kids get enough social interaction with kids their own ages. That seems to be an important aspect of pre school and the lower grades.

I never attended school. I was taught at home through high school. I have since worked as an administrative assistant at an elementary school, and as an ESL teacher at a Russian school (teaching grades 2-11). I currently teach EFL as a professor at a Russian university. I consider that have seen different sides of the question. I truly believe there is no one answer; children are individuals, families are different. My daughter currently attends a half day at a preschool, because I cannot afford to not work, at least part-time. She enjoys playing with other children, and I'm glad she has the chance, because she does not yet have any younger siblings at home, or other relatives. But they are not teaching her anything. In reality, it's just day care. We have also attended a child development class for an hour and twenty minutes twice a week- she absolutely loves it, and has gained a lot from the classes. We also play games about colors, shapes, etc, at home. Would I homeschool? I haven't reached that point yet. I have never regretted being taught at home myself- in my personal experience, I have seen only benefits. I have seen problems with some other children who have been taught at home. I truly believe this has to be a case by case decision- and it is not necessarily made for life, it may be only a season.

Being a homeschooled teenager myself, I will admit it gets a little lonely but its really no different from when I was in public high school. I didnt have many friends to begin with nor did I really care. Homeschooling isnt for everyone and neither is school in general. It annoys me when people say all I do is sit in front of my laptop and have no contact with anyone in the outside world. They dont seem to understand that just because my work just happens to be on a computer doesnt mean I dont intereact with anyone. I have a friend who is also home schooled and sometimes our moms will let us save our work for later in the day and let us hang out together. It depends who you are and what your goals are. Your son may not like it now but maybe when he is older he'll realize that public school isnt for him and maybe you can revisit this idea. For now, just let him interact and make his own decisions.

For those of you saying preschool doesn't count- get a friend with a child about to enter kindergarten on your social media site of choice, and watch the assignments those children get. Full worksheets with spelling words, math beyond addition, knowing shades of different colors, being able to work in a group without any problems, etc.
As the mother of an almost school aged child, I've been trying to teach her things. She's got addition up to ten, as long as she can look at her fingers, down pat. She can write her name, and mommy, daddy and her brother's name. I did manage to teach her how to draw a star the other day... but that certainly won't help her much unless she wants to be a kindergarten teacher when she grows up O.o

yah, the last one said it all!

Daycare/Preschool has been a great sucess for my son. He learns so much not just educationally but socially as well. The excitement on his face when we arrive at preschool is priceless. He is thriving in that environment and even with the best intentions I don't think it would be even close to the same at home with me.

Good for you! Homeschooling is rarely what's best for the child, for all the reasons you state and more. If you want to give your son all the advantages of homeschooling, then take all those lessons you planned and help him do them after school, while his siblings a doing their homework, or take time off over the summer and "homeschool" all your kids by going to museums, writing a family newspaper, entering art contests, learning how to cook, or even having them come up with their own projects. I don't see homeschooling as an either/or choice. If you are involved with your child and do lots of extra stuff with them, then you can give them all the advantages of homeschooling while still sending them to school to reap all the benefits of traditional schools.

Good for you. You made the right choice. Well written article!

you quit your job??? in this day and age? are you out of your mind???

Homeschool a preschooler? When are kids just allowed to be kids?

I love that the parent learned a lesson, changed tactics and moved on. I could never home school, I'm too lazy and I like the socialization.

I know preschool is not mandatory but to feel you failed as a parent when your kid is struggling to keep up with pre school kids in first grade sucks.

As a home schooled child, former college professor, and now a homeschooling mom, I have heard it all in the education world. Thank you for sharing your story. It isn't for everyone, like you pointed out, but perhaps one day, it may be for you again. You never know!

I also appreciate that you were open enough to share about not being involved with a group. You do need to engage with a homeschooling community- for your own sanity as well as your child's need to interact with friends. I'm homeschooling my only child and we are very involved in our group. She's friends with children of all ages and interacts with them frequently. "Socialization" needs to happen outside of "education." That's one of the main reasons I love homeschooling. She can get her friend time in without sacrificing a good education.

Thanks for the thought-provoking article!

My little sister who is 20 years younger than me is being home schooled. My mom "home schooled" me though my high school years and it was basically I was handed some work to do and left to it. I didn't do any work. Basically I was a drop out at 8th grade and it was a struggle for me to get through college (I have 2 degrees now). I worry about my little sister because my step-father is ultra conservative and from the south and I'm worried she's not only getting a sub par education but also an very warped view on the world. For example, they don't talk about African Americans, or civil rights etc.

Homeschooling a preschooler takes less than an hour a day, if you are talking about the actual "sit down and work on a project" time. But then you have the whole rest of the day to spend together and play, explore the community, take a nap, talk, make snacks, clean up, and just enjoy BEING together while he is still little enough to be home with you. You were blessed with an opportunity many working mothers only wish they had. But if you didn't love being with your son for this fleeting time that he is preschool-aged, you probably did the right thing by sending him off to spend this time with other people at preschool. Homeschooling, at any age, is just not for everyone.

Sounds like you shouldn't be allowed to teach anyone to tie a shoe, let alone teach. Do you think those complaints don't happen in the classroom? I am considering homeschooling my son when he hits his high school years. Not to save money, but to make sure he is getting an education tailored to his ability level. Instead of him being expected to dumb down to other kids less advanced then he is. I already know where to go for the language requirement.