Yes, Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is Work

I had a part-time job when my kids were small, working nights and weekends opposite my husband's shift so we could keep them out of day care. However, I always thought of myself a stay-at-home mom. I was with my kids during the day, getting them dressed and feeding them endlless meals and snacks, taking them to play dates and appointments and finding ways to keep them entertained on those long winter days when it was too cold to play outside. I looked forward to going to my "real" job at night. I considered it a break. One day, in response to someone telling me stay-at-home moms had it easy because they didn't have to balance career and family, I recorded everything I did in a 24-hour period. I've kept this list stuck to my fridge ever since.


3:00 am -Baby woke up. Nursed him. Fell asleep holding him in the recliner.
5:00 am -Husband up. Went to bed and took the baby with me.
7:30 am -Baby and I woke up. Made myself oatmeal and nursed baby while eating.
7:45 am -Changed baby's diaper. Got baby dressed. 4-year-old Tom and 2-year-old Sammie woke up.
Changed Sammie's diaper and got her dressed. Helped Tom pick out clothes. Got myself dressed.
8:00 am -Made breakfast for kids. Spoon fed jar food to baby.Made some coffee.
8:20 am -Tied big kids' shoes. Brought kids upstairs to brush their teeth. Brushed kids' hair.
8:30 am -Changed Sammie's diaper because she pooped.
8:40 am -Threw diapers and wiped in the diaper bag. Grabbed bag of school supplies. Put coffee in a to-go cup. Took a picture of Tom on the front step to commemorate his first day of pre-school. Put all three kids in car seats and strapped them in. Drove to school. Took all kids out of car seats.
8:45 am -Brought Tom to class. Dropped off supplies.
8:45 to 10:15 - Parent group at pre-school. Sammie and the baby watched in the sib-care room. Blessedly child free for an hour and a half.
10:15 am -- Picked up Sammie and the baby. Brought them to the pre-school office. Brought them to the car and strapped them in their seats. Drove to the grocery store. Took them out of their car seats. Went inside to buy cupcakes. Put the kids back in their car seats.
11:15 am - Back at McKinley. Take the kids out of the car seats. Pick up Tom inside. Put all three kids back into their car seats.
11:30 am - Back home. Got kids out of car seats. Put candles in cupcakes and sang "Happy first day of school" to Tom.
11:40 - Nursed the baby. Put him down for a nap.
12:00 - Made lunch for the kids. Made lunch for myself. Emptied the dishwasher. Washed the dishes in the sink. Cleaned up lunch and breakfast dishes. Wiped off the dining room table. Wiped off the kids' faces. Swept the crums off the dining room floor.
1-3 pm - Wiped down the bathroom. Started a load of laundry. Brought up laundry from the basement to hang up in Tom's closet. Made a new batch of diaper wipes (I make my own). Swept the kitchen and living room. Changed the baby's crappy diaper after he woke up. Cut up a cantaloupe to bring to work for dinner.
3:00 pm - Husband home from work. Nursed the baby. Started another load of laundry. Got the rest of my dinner together to bring to work. Changed Sammie's crappy diaper. Cleaned up dishes from the snack my husband got for the kids. Got ready for work.
5-10 pm - Worked.
10:20 - Home.
10:30 - Pumped breast milk.
11:00 - Started writing this stupid list.
12:00 - Washed the breast pump equipment and the containers I used to carry my dinner to work.
12:10 - Bed
*All day: Disciplined, mediated, held, comforted, dropped everything to sit Sammie on the toilet, corrected, reminded of manners, etc.

Looking at this list makes me tired. My kids are bigger now, 10, 8 and 6. We added another member to the tribe, baby Pomme (okay, I should probably spell it Pum, because it's short for Pumpkin, but Pomme looks better. It's French). I currently work 43 hours a week between two jobs, spend ten hours a week commuting, and go to gradutate school full time. No problem. It's a cake-walk compared to those years when all the kids were small.

Those years when I worked at parenting pre-school children, a job harder than anything I've done before or since.