Before I became a parent, I remember standing at a grocery store watching in horror as some harried mom tore open a package of processed cheese crackers and thrust them at her screeching toddler in an attempt to get him to quiet down. She looked stressed and miserable; he looked smug and victorious. I remember thinking, I will never pacify my child with food and I will never do it with processed. Hear that sound? It's the sound of the universe laughing. Parenting has been a series comeuppances ever since - the universe's way of slapping me for my ignorance and arrogance over thinking I would be any different, more disciplined or enlightened than any other parent out there. Here are seven parenting fantasies I harbored before I actually became one. - By Jessie Knadler