When Less Romance is More

Spontaneous getaways and supersize bouquets settle squabbles in rom-coms and other fantasy realms, but in the real world, romantic gestures aren't cure-alls for relationship woes. In fact, unromantic gestures can be the better salve. Because couples are marrying later and living together before they do, continual improvement of the partnership is more important (and effective) than quick fixes, says Lisa Thomas, a licensed marriage therapist in Colorado. Nobody is suggesting romance be killed off completely - far from it. It's just smart to add these unconventional strengtheners into the happy-couple mix.
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Photo by: Istockphoto
The convention: The more minutes you spend together, the closer you'll be.
The counter: Maintaining independence actually solidifies couples. Experts say that constantly learning new things about each other is vital to keeping your relationship as riveting as your Twitter feed. 'You can't be glued at the hip to make that happen,' says Thomas.
The realistic approach: Take regular solo time. Natalie Magana, 25, and her ... more
Photo by: Istockphoto
The convention: The more minutes you spend together, the closer you'll be.
The counter: Maintaining independence actually solidifies couples. Experts say that constantly learning new things about each other is vital to keeping your relationship as riveting as your Twitter feed. 'You can't be glued at the hip to make that happen,' says Thomas.
The realistic approach: Take regular solo time. Natalie Magana, 25, and her husband, of Chicago, do their own thing two or three nights a week. 'After being apart, I look forward to telling him about the shenanigans I had with my friends, and I can't wait to hear about his,' she says.
- Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
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