When Less Romance is More

Spontaneous getaways and supersize bouquets settle squabbles in rom-coms and other fantasy realms, but in the real world, romantic gestures aren't cure-alls for relationship woes. In fact, unromantic gestures can be the better salve. Because couples are marrying later and living together before they do, continual improvement of the partnership is more important (and effective) than quick fixes, says Lisa Thomas, a licensed marriage therapist in Colorado. Nobody is suggesting romance be killed off completely - far from it. It's just smart to add these unconventional strengtheners into the happy-couple mix.
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Photo by: Istockphoto
The convention: Penciling in intimacy is clinical.
The counter: 'It gives the message that, at that time, nothing is more important than being together,' says Thomas. Plus, the more sex you have, the happier you'll be. Couples who gratify each other's sexual needs are 65 percent more likely to be satisfied in their pairing than those who don't, says a 2011 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
The realistic ... more
Photo by: Istockphoto
The convention: Penciling in intimacy is clinical.
The counter: 'It gives the message that, at that time, nothing is more important than being together,' says Thomas. Plus, the more sex you have, the happier you'll be. Couples who gratify each other's sexual needs are 65 percent more likely to be satisfied in their pairing than those who don't, says a 2011 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
The realistic approach: To up how often you undress each other, say 'I miss having sex with you,' says Thomas, who advises mandated sack time once a week. If you aren't in the mood at that hour, cuddle or kiss instead.
· How to Know if She Wants You Back
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