I happen to think my friends are pretty wonderful, but I absolutely refuse to set any of them up with each other. I've done it before and ended up wanting to bang my head into a wall. Despite my personal opinion, I can see why others enjoy doing it. Not only can it be fun, but it's actually somewhat rewarding. However, before you decide to go forward with setting up your friends, consider the pros and cons first so you're completely aware of what you're getting yourself into.
Pros:
You have a small part in their happiness
It's a great feeling when you do something positive for others, especially when it comes to love -- an area of life that can sometimes be a lot more painful than anyone would like. You're probably going to feel pretty good knowing you played a big role in getting your friends together and, as long as your friends are happy together, they're going to be grateful to you for putting things in motion.
You see your friends happy together
Many of us would do anything to see our friends smile, so it's obviously heartbreaking when we see them miserable or discontent. When they're happy in a relationship, chances are you're genuinely thrilled for them. It's a bonus if you helped them get together, but overall one of the best feelings is knowing they have someone special in their life that they care about and love and vice versa.
You may gain closer friends
If you set up your friends, there's a good chance your friendship with them is going to get tighter, especially if your friends approach you to set them up with someone; you learn their likes and dislikes in a partner and often end up discussing their past loves and relationships. Whenever I set up friends, it almost felt like a bonding experience -- something that brought us closer together. More often than not I ended up becoming closer friends with one or both of them which, in some cases, lasted even after their relationship ended.
Cons:
You get thrown in the middle
Often when you set up two friends, especially if you're close with them, you're likely going to get thrown in the middle when there's a problem. Considering you're friends with both, they'll likely try to make you the confidant because you know each person so well. It's easy to say you don't want to get involved, however, it doesn't always work out that way. One or both will usually tell you something you didn't want to hear in the first place, then you're stuck.
Feeling guilty if it doesn't work out
Some may feel guilty if they set up two friends and the relationship becomes toxic, they fight too much or it ends badly. It never failed -- I felt guilty any time two friends I set up didn't stay together. You can tell yourself you're not going to feel guilty, but just like you'll feel happiness for having a small part in them getting together, it can work the other way, too, if the relationship ends.
Being blamed if things don't work out
I've never experienced this, however, I know others who have and from what they tell me it's not very pleasant and I can't imagine that it would be. Should you set up two friends and the relationship ends, and especially if something bad happens during, you may get blamed for it because you were the one who set the couple up in the first place. Granted, true friends shouldn't, and aren't, going to put the blame on you, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt and you won't feel guilty if it were to happen.
Friends have asked me to set them up with a specific person or even with any single friend in general and I always apologize and say that I would rather not. What I prefer to do is put a group of my friends together in the same area and let them do it themselves. It's less problems for me and it's a lot less pressure for them knowing they won't have to meet another friend of mine one-on-one and possibly have to tell me they have no interest in this person. Overall, the relaxed group atmosphere has worked out much better.
More from Lauren R.:
How to Handle a Negative Boyfriend
Dating Misconceptions Men Have About Women
Dating Gestures that Impress Women
