Recall the line in the 1997 movie, As Good As It Gets, where Jack Nicholson tells Helen Hunt: "You make me want to be a better man." This famous line serves as a terrific argument-squasher. It's the stuff that romantic comedies are made of. But does the sentiment really hold true in real life? Can women really make their men better individuals? You can't really make anyone do anything. Relationship experts urge women not to fall in love with a man's potential. This is good advice. But that doesn't necessarily mean that a man can't become a better individual because of the woman he loves. How do these miraculous changes occur? And furthermore, are the women really responsible?
Be Yourself
You will be doing yourself a grand disservice if you pretend to be someone you're not. If a man decides to change his ways because of who he thinks you are, he'll more than likely become resentful when the real you is revealed. For instance, if you would like for your husband to lose weight simply because you want him to make you look better, you're asking for trouble. In other words, you should encourage a healthier lifestyle so that the two of you can have more quality time together—not just to keep up appearances.Resist the Urge to Nitpick
Nagging a man into dressing or acting in a manner that pleases you won't necessarily make his "transition" any easier. In fact, you risk running him away if you are constantly picking him apart at every turn. A man will not change his ways (whatever those ways are) simply because you hound him. In fact, if you feel compelled to nag you might want to question why you have chosen to be with this person in the first place.
"Teach a Man to Fish..."
Those who cheated in school may have ended up with terrific grades. But students who habitually take the easy route in school are ultimately cheating themselves of knowledge that they'll need later. As such, solving your honey's problems may get you temporary brownie points; but showing him how to help himself will have positive long-term effects. There is nothing wrong with supporting your loved one's goals and dreams. However, sometimes the best way to help a person is to provide the "tools" necessary to get ahead.
Lead By Example
You cannot possibly expect a man to change when you yourself are not willing to embrace personal growth. Sometimes the best way to help a man become the person that he wants to be, is by showing him that you, too are open to change. In other words, there has to exist some sort of emotional reward associated with personal growth. A man who sees no benefit to altering his ways may adopt the sentiment: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
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