Don't let the nickname "Miss Picky" fool you. I am passionate about relationships and I love being in love. To that end I'm a very forgiving chick. Life's little foibles and goofs affect us all.
However, there are times when despite our best efforts, relationships just don't work. I'm not talking about small household beefs like leaving the toilet seat up and playing hide the remote. I am talking about relationship deal breakers.
The notion of unconditional love is romantic but most of us have deal breakers when it comes to love. Some of these reasons to call it quits may be superficial and silly, like a partner gains weight. Some deal breakers are more substantial, like a partner changes his or her mind about having children. Then there are the universal relationship deal breakers. The reasons to say nope, give me back my keys, call Tyrone to help you pack your things because this relationship is a wrap. And of course, even if I use male pronouns, these deal breakers apply whether your partner is a man, woman or otherwise.
Love deal breakers: 9 reasons to break up with your partner.
It is time to bail, leave, bounce, skedaddle, say peace out when...
Relationship Deal Breaker #1. He hits you. No one has the right to put their hands on you without your permission. Ever. Period. End of story. Yes, I do believe in redemption and forgiveness. I also believe that people have the power to change. However, they have to want to change.
Relationship Deal Breaker #2. Your lover steals from you. If someone you love takes anything from you repeatedly without permission, something is seriously wrong. Stealing is absolutely a deal breaker on love.
Relationship Deal Breaker #3. Your partner is jealous of your child. I don't have children but in the past six months I have had several friends talk to me about a husband or boyfriend being jealous of their children. In some of these cases the person was the biological dad of the children and other times it wasn't. Either way, no bueno.
Relationship Deal Breaker #4. The love of your life does not believe in you or your dreams. Yates said it best, "Tread softly because you tread on my dreams." If the person you are with does not believe in you or what you are working toward, this will undermine your best efforts and create resentment. Run.
Relationship Deal Breaker #5. Your lover needs you to change the core of who you are in order to be with them. Old dogs can learn new tricks. But if the love of your life wants or needs you to change the things that you like about yourself, the very things that make you you, it's time to go.
Relationship Deal Breaker #6. You find that your guy is a child molester or child pornographer. Enough said.
Relationship Deal Breaker #7. The person you love is not who they claimed to be. Dr. Maya Angelou says that when someone tells you who they are, believe them. The flip side of that is that if someone lies to you about who they are, run.
Relationship Deal Breaker #8. He or she belittles you to family, friends or strangers. No one deserves to be cut down or made to feel small to assuage another person's insecurities.
Relationship Deal Breaker #9. Your partner just can't forgive you. Whether we are talking about dating or marriage, we all mess up from time to time. It's part of being beautifully human. However, if your partner can't eventually forgive you then it is unhealthy and unfair for you both to be together. Walk away.
As I always say, my rockstars, be good. And if you can't be good, be safe.
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