Kelly Mills on Shine

On Tracy Anderson and Michelle Obama's arms

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Oh, we live in a wacky, wacky world. Didja know Tracy Anderson is opening up a gym in NYC? It only costs an initiation fee of $1500 for a year plus, um, $900 a month. Oooh, wait, hold on: Bllleeeuuughhhhh. Spit. Wipe. Yes,…

User Post: Just in time for some holiday or another: Presents for active people

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Whoa, are the holidays over? Well, then it's time for the "FF Top 5 Fitness Gifts gift-giving guide to things you could give to the exercisers in your life" aka the FFTFFGGGTTYCGTTEIYL. (If you say that acronym out loud, you will incidentally be making the noise I make when I do experience muscle fatigue and fall down into the fetal position and just rock.)

Yes, this comes direct to you on your computer or other web-surfing gadget, culled from other people's timely holiday gift guides, just days too late to be any good to anyone! But if you must know, it's really just an excuse to riff on some stuff, and anyway, if you see anything you like you could buy it for yourself or return the Baywatch Beach workout tapes you got in exchange for some of these beauties. So here we go! Let's count down backwards, just like we did for last seconds of the New Year.

Wassup with the Pink Patch?

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I was thinking to myself the other day (I occasionally do have actual thoughts, you know) that we don't do enough for our young girls. I mean, yes, we rear them on a steady stream of unusually thin actresses, musicians, and models, with hardly any size diversity in evidence (and the thin-only...

Skinny is soooo last year, healthy is now

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Skinny was bad back then too. From

The best parenting advice EVER

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A while back I went to a baby shower, and the host had everyone write down their best advice on parenting for the expectant couple in an album. When it was my turn to come up with some pearls, I paused. The truth was that the very best pieces of advice were rarely about whether or not to co-sleep or...

Five things you thought you'd never do to your kids

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Pre-child, I was righteous. I believed that while parenting was hard, I was going to manage to conduct myself well at least the majority of the time. Ha. Ha. Ha. Now I know that I'm more likely to high-five myself on very rare occasions of almost accidental successful parenting, than to...

Kim Kardashian can't lose the booty weight

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Dearest Kim, Heya, just browsing through US magazine, my go-to source for fair and balanced coverage of your hiney. And I read this: "I love that I'm curvy, but I'm on this...

The new "good mother"

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In the olden days of long, long ago, when our dinosaurs roamed the land and our mothers were having babies, there was a certain amount of pressure on moms. Mothers were supposed to raise the children with patience and a cheerful air of total domestic fulfillment. In the fantasy, the house was...

Why you may never have a six-pack

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Okay, I feel very truth-y today, and I need to tell you something. You may never have a six-pack. Or maybe more accurately, a visible six-pack. And I mean you could work your booty off, eat a real healthy diet, and still never get one. I mean, you might, but again, you might not. Are you mad now? Is...