Lylah Alphonse on Shine

Easy acts of kindness: Give gifts that give back

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When your to-do list gets too long, planning for the holidays starts to feel a lot like work. How can we spread the holiday cheer without spreading ourselves too thin?

One solution: Make the things you buy do double duty.

Holiday cards can be purchased from local and national charities that are struggling to provide more services with less money. Buy presents from which the proceeds go to support a cause. Give gifts for free with the click of your mouse. Shop at stores that use part of their profits to help the needy.
Need specifics? Here are a few places that can help you you help others, effortlessly.

Your marriage or your career?

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West Indian Girl singer Mariqueen Maandig is giving up her gig to marry Nine Inch Nails front man Trent Reznor, her bandmates declared in August. WWE announcer Lilian Garcia announced her retirement Monday after 10 years with the WWE Divas, trading the wrestling ring for a wedding ring. And over at the StarTribune.com, a reader tells columnist Carolyn Hax to put marriage before career because "it really wasn't worth all the sacrifices."

Which made me wonder: If you couldn't have both -- and if finances weren't an issue -- which one would you choose?

Sarah Palin's on LinkedIn. Are you?

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The Huffington Post reported recently that former vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin has posted her resume on LinkedIn.

I have to admit, I don't really see the point in snarking about this. Sure, her LinkedIn profile is out of date, and of course she's highlighting the peaks of her career and not the valleys. But for all that I disagree with her politics, the former governor of Alaska is super savvy when it comes to social networking. And, in this day and age (and economy), social networking is a valuable tool.

Working Moms: Is spending time with your child more important than making time for yourself?

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I went in to work crazy-early yesterday, so that I could leave crazy-early and meet up with an old friend whom I hadn't seen in far too long. A coworker stopped by my desk as I was packing up, and so I explained what was going on. She gasped. "You're... actually doing something FOR YOURSELF?"

I immediately felt a little guilty. And sheepish. Until I looked her in the eye and saw that she was actually cheering me on.

A real-life lesson in time management

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The other night, I was faced with a kitchen-full of dirty dishes. And pots. And pans. At midnight.

I was already tired. I had been up late working, and I'd gotten up early, too, thanks to my 2 1/2-year-old alarm clock of a son who wakes at 5:30 a.m. (and who obviously didn't read my post about how I prefer to stay up late rather than get up early). But the kitchen was a wreck, it's hot and humid outside and, as such, bug season, and call me crazy, but I cannot stand having anything with more than two legs in the kitchen, and that includes the dog.

Dear whoever makes those cleaning product commercials: You're doing it wrong

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I try to watch what my kids watch, which means that the commercials I sit through are geared mostly either to kids (Toys! Games! Candy!) or to moms (Body wash! Convenience foods! Cleaning products!). Or, I should say, "moms," because really, a commercial pitched to directly me, and most of the working moms I know, would involve wine and sleep.

The commercials for cleaning products bug me the most, because they just seem completely unrealistic. I mean, really -- who takes time away from their work-life juggle to wipe down an already pristine living room? I'm looking at you, makers of a certain multi-surface cleaner, the commercial for which caught my eye the other morning. A woman, in a glass cage filled with already-clean kitchen appliances and cabinets, quips that she doesn't have time to clean because she has to go pick up her kids, but is able to wipe up a few smudges and smears without having to use several different cleaners. After she's done, the place looks exactly the same, but she looks tired and relieved.

I don't know about you, but my housework workload would not be significantly reduced by not having to switch cleaning products while dusting my bookshelves.

The laws of working motherhood

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We've all heard about Murphy's Law (whatever can go wrong, will). And the Law of Average s (everything evens out in the end). And Newton's Third Law of Motion (every action has an equal and opposite reaction).

Well, The Laws of Working Moms incorporate a little bit of each -- and then some. To wit:

1.) If you have an early meeting, or if the children need to be at school early for a field trip or other event, someone will be up at least twice during the night -- which means you will be, too.

2.) The toddler will sneeze mightily in your face the day before he comes down with a ferocious cold.

3.) Your kids' school or daycare will shut down due to Swine Flu the week after your kids have been out sick with a cold. (Corollary: Your kids will not have the H1N1/Swine Flu virus.)

Can you really save money with coupons?

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I started clipping coupons when I was a dirt-poor college student, having to decide whether to spend an extra 60 cents on a couple of packages of Ramen noodles or use that money for bus fare to get to work. (Sounds terribly dramatic, but it's true. It was Syracuse, N.Y., and it was worth going without dinner in order to avoid a three-mile walk home in the snow at night). Back then, the quarters I scraped together went a long way -- a couple of coupons could yield savings equal to the amount needed to wash a load of laundry -- and so the sorting and clipping was definitely worth my time.

I still clip coupons, but now it's more an exercise in frugality, as well as a challenge to see how little I can pay for the things I usually buy anyway. Every once in a while I hit a jackpot -- a buy-one-get-one free item for which I have coupons, for instance -- and I find myself wondering: What if I did this all the time? Can you really save that much money with coupons?

Kathy Spencer says yes. And she can help teach you how.

The Boxford, Massachusetts mom spends less than $10 a week to feed her family of six -- plus several pets.

Hindsight is 20/20: What would you tell your younger self?

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I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, mostly about my career. I started working as a journalist when I was 16 -- I mean working for pay, as opposed to on the school paper or something -- and I pursued my career goals with a single-mindedness that surprises me today, in retrospect.

I didn't really have a mentor, 15 or 20 years ago. I could have used one -- as a young woman, as a woman of color, as a journalist, as a professional. I could have used a primer on office politics (who couldn't?), some guidance on setting goals, a reminder that work-life balance is important even when the only think on the "life" side of the equation is yourself.

Here's some advice -- career or otherwise -- I wish I could tell my younger self: