Madvertising on Shine

Dear Shake Weight: You have to be kidding us...

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There are lots of things to say about the women's exercise product, Shake Weight, but hey, this is a family blog, so we'll just let the commercial speak for itself. Just one question: Do no one who made this thing think what we thought?

Scariest shopping commercial EVER

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Seriously, this ad for the German shopping website, jungstil.de, actually makes me feel terrified and a little nauseous. (Ear biting? OUCH. YUCK.) The moral of the story: No one needs clothes this badly, especially not a tank that's kind of fugs and weirdly skimpy and looks impossible to wear with a bra.

Does makeup actually make us beautiful?

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There's a Belgian advertisement floating around the internet right now which depicts what seems like an average woman in a dowdy "before" and a glamorous "after" shot.
The makeover images are meant to sell eco-friendly cosmetics from a company called Biocorner--the ad's tagline reads: “No need to be ugly to save the planet.”

The woman looks better in picture 2, though that's really not saying much. The female in the before photo is all bag lady'd out, and the after one has been (obviously) heavily Photoshopped...

Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue adds insult to implants with this advertisement

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.I'll be honest, I am not a fan of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Shocking, right? Of course not. In fact, I do think it's slightly smarmier than magazines where the women are completely naked. At least those magazines, whether they are your thing or not, are what they are. Aside from a few articles and cartoons, there's no mistake what they are made to be. Every year when the SI swimsuit issue emerges from the cover of sports coverage, I shake my head at the justification for selling magazines, bikinis, and women's bodies.

I mean, I get it. I do get it. It's all about sales. It's about appealing to people who otherwise don't care about baseball, free agents, or next season's playoff predictions.

Today in Madvertising: Does seeing women under duress make you want to buy clothes?

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Sweet Lord, when will this kind of crap end?

Italian clothing designer Relish has just released ads which depict men dressed as police officers choking, grabbing, shoving, and sexually assaulting (note the hand up the skirt in the picture at left) two models who are wearing Relish's new line of spring clothes.

Here's my big question: How is viewing the active abuse of other women supposed to entice us into buying dresses? It doesn't make sense.

Madonna's new Louis Vuitton ads: Desperate or badass?

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For those of you who don't follow all things fashion news, Madonna was recently named the face of Louis Vuitton's new ad campaign, which means she'll be hawking a bunch of outrageously overpriced bags and unwearable shoes in magazine spreads and on billboards all spring. The images—shot by photographer Steven Meisel—have recently leaked, revealing an ageless-looking Ms.Ciccone in a series of provocative, bendy poses straight out of...

Today in Madvertising: The most offensive fashion ad we've ever seen

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In the eight months that we've been on air, so to speak, we here at Shine have covered all manner of of idiotic, offensive, and downright belittling-to-humans fashion topics. But the ad at left might be the worst thing we've seen all year. Are you kidding me, lawyer-turned-designer Duncan Quinn? This is how you plan on selling suits? By dragging a dead-looking, underwear-clad model across the roof of a fancy car? There's really no explanation for this. It's not cool. It's not edgy. It does not make us want any man we know to wear that creepy guy's outfit. It is instead an insulting, disrespectful, and outrageously degrading image that overtly promotes violence against women.

Wait, seriously? Rachel Ray's Dunkin Donuts ad dumped due to a scarf

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This is insane. Extra-sugary coffee company Dunkin' Donuts pulled an ad yesterday because in it spokesperson Rachel Ray is wearing a scarf that looks a little bit like a keffiyeh, the traditional headdress worn by Arab men (it also looks like about a million scarves you can buy in Urban Outfitters right now). Ultra-conservative, and to my mind, in this case, hysterical, talking heads went all berserk and threatened to boycott The Dunk. As Fox News's Michelle Malkin put it...

Today in Madvertising: Should this Tom Ford ad have been banned?

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Radar Magazine is reporting that the Tom Ford sunglasses ad pictured above has been banned by the Italian Advertising Institute (IAA) for its "explicit and provocative character," and because it "goes beyond acceptable limits for advertising aimed at the general public." Yet, somehow, other provocative images in the campaign—say, with a naked model ironing while a man sits by smoking, or yet another with a woman grabbing a man's package—were overlooked. Is this ad even good? Does it sell sunglasses? Does it make you feel sexy?

Today in Madvertising: What up Posh?

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I don't know about you, but this ad for Marc Jacobs starring Victoria Beckham kind of makes me want to die. I know, I get it, she's supposed to be like a doll or an alien or something, who, in the previous ads, is falling out of a bag and boxes. But, it's like, even for a doll...