Finally! Emmy Rossum explains the odd, irresistible appeal of Adam Duritz, AKA "Man-salve"

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For decades, Adam Duritz's penis has seemed like a mysterious, heat-seeking missile programmed to hit every sexy, super-famous, more-attractive-than-him actress in his path. Similar in style to Señor D*ckhead John Mayer, Duritz has repeatedly dated out of his league--his former flames include A-list women like Jennifer Aniston, Mary-Louise Parker, Courteney Cox, Winona Ryder, and Christina Applegate to name a few.

However, unlike Mayer, the Counting Crows singer doesn't seem like an evil, opportunistic, mind-screwing turdbag who plays on women's insecurities and makes them feel self-loathing and crazy and desperate (what Señor D*ckhead John Mayer did to Jessica Simpson should be criminal, and we don't even like J Simps).

So, what's the story?

Penis on Shine

Finally! Emmy Rossum explains the odd, irresistible appeal of Adam Duritz, AKA "Man-salve"