Many question whether or not the seven year itch actually exists and with quite a few couples, it does. If you've been dating or married to your guy for about seven years and you're starting to experience doubts, feelings or fears you've never had - or at least haven't had in awhile - you're not alone. There's something about that time period that almost makes all hell break loose. Even if you have your doubts, you likely still very much love your guy, so what can you do to kick the itch to the curb so the two of you can continue on and be happy?
Counseling can allow the two of you to vent freely to and get insight from a neutral source. It's also a good chance for one or both of you to see the counselor individually to talk about any personal issues you may not want to share with anyone else.
Stop assigning blame
One of the worst things to do is to to keep blaming your guy for all the troubles going on. Even if you don't want to admit it, some of the mistakes are likely your fault considering there's two people in a relationship. When one person refuses to accept blame for their share of what's going wrong, it can put a severe strain on the relationship and bring up feelings of anger and resentment. Regardless of how difficult it is, accept blame for the mistakes you've made and work on making the proper improvements. Also, if you do something wrong, actually tell your guy that you're sorry. Sometimes just hearing the words can mean everything.
Don't blow off problems
After being in a relationship for awhile, it's common for something to go wrong and have it brushed to the side - wash, rinse and repeat, and sometimes for years until the problem gets so big everything explodes. If there's a problem, don't wait until it becomes a huge issue to talk to your guy. Talk to him about it when the problem arises, then let it go and move on without bringing it up again in the future.
Talk to each other
Communication is so important in a relationship, but it becomes even more so the longer you're together and especially around the seven year mark. After several years of being together, some couples form a habit of barely talking to each other. They'll come home, exchange pleasantries and that's it. Talk about your lives, what's going on in the world and what's going on between the two of you. It can make all the difference.
Start a gratitude journal
Writing a gratitude journal might sound cheesy, but it can actually work. It's not uncommon for some couples to lose sight of why they fell in love with each other in the first place. Writing in the journal on a daily basis can be a constant reminder of what you love most about your guy and what he does for you, especially when things get rough.
Don't go for the grass is greener approach
A huge danger of the seven year itch is noticing other men who have qualities your guy seems to be lacking. Here's the thing about the grass is greener situation - it's always greener somewhere else. If you were to leave your guy for someone new, that guy is going to be lacking certain qualities that yet another guy has. It's one thing to have severe problems within your relationship that are completely irreparable, but the grass is greener situation is a different story. It usually means that there are certain things missing in your relationship that very likely can be fixed and you're looking elsewhere because, at the time, it seems like a more appealing solution than tackling what the problems really are.
Attack your bucket list
One of the complaints of those experiencing a seven year itch is that their relationship has gotten boring. If you haven't been doing so already, now is a good time for you and your guy to tackle your bucket lists. Make your relationship more exciting by doing things the two of you have always wanted to do, but haven't yet had the opportunity. Chances are he'll be just as excited about it as you are.
Spice up your sex life
Sex is vital in a relationship and many couples complain that after the first few years, their sex life takes a huge nosedive. Not only does sex happen less frequently, but it just becomes boring and they almost want to get it over with as quickly as possible. The longer you're together, especially at the seven year mark when things might get a bit shaky, the more you should work to make your sex life more interesting. Start by buying a Kama Sutra book and find a few new positions you want to try. Initiate sex more often, buy more sexy lingerie and get into the habit of having sex more often. Once it starts getting better, you'll be on the hunt for even more ways to make it hotter.
The seven year itch isn't easy to deal with and it can truly make or break your relationship. The key is to stick it out together and not lose sight of your future with each other. The two of you aren't going to consistently stay the same throughout your time together and neither is your relationship, but with effort and commitment to the relationship and each other, you can beat the dreaded seven year itch and come out stronger than ever.
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