Has Ordering Out For Twenty Plus Years Ruined My Home-Cookin' Karma?

Living in NYC has definitely spoiled me -- at any given moment I can order in Chinese, Somalian, Vegan, Mexican, just about anything really, without tearing my eyes away from MTV, save for quickly perusing the restaurant's online menu. But lately I've started wondering what really goes into my sesame chicken or salmon teriyaki.

Over the weekend I decided to make a healthy meal for my boyfriend and myself, so I promptly logged on to Atkins.com, downloaded a fish with artichoke & tomato sauce recipe, and shimmied my way over to the grocery store -- a downright frightening place full of ingredients I can't name and chips and chocolate I must resist buying!

In my basket I loaded up on fresh tomatoes, frozen artichokes (why oh why are frozen food aisles THAT cold?) and cautiously headed over to the (gasp!) poultry and fish aisle, where I saw only Turbot, not the Haddock the recipe called for. Figuring that was fine anyway (hey, they're both white fish), I paid, headed home, and fired up my 1963 oven that sits in my 4 x 3 foot kitchen. Everything was going along fine until I attempted to make the fish. For once, though usually my creativity gets the better of me, I followed the recipe to a tee! But, the artichokes became soggy as they sat in a covered pot post-cooking and my attempts to flip the fish with a spatula (as dictated by the recipe) turned my filet into a pile of mash. I served it to Greg who was kind, though I could see the relief when, after a few bites, I said I couldn't eat it. I believe his exact words were, "Thank God."

We promptly ordered Domino's and my night of healthy living turned to an evening of cheesy bread, half of a pizza, and a liter of diet coke.

I am now banned from the kitchen. This latest attempt at domesticity is just that -- the latest. Two months ago my pasta carbonara with zucchini ended up as a raw egg parmesan stew with a side of hair.

Any suggestions or simple recipes you can pass on to this crippled chef?