No nukes! 10 foods that should never enter your microwave

You'd be disgusted to know that me grandmother put an entire turkey in the microwave once for Thanksgiving. Needless to say, I did NOT eat at her house.

Dear Maggie,

To begin with, there are things that microwaves do better with than others.
FIRST, you CAN microwave bread products VERY well IF YOU DO IT CORRECTLY! With rolls, biscuits, or bread all you have to do is to take a sheet (or two) of paper towel, wet it and wring it out until it's damp. Then wrap the food in the paper towel. The microwave should be set on HI for only 10-25 seconds, dependind on quantity and size of items then check, start at 10. If it's not to your liking yet, then pop it back in and hit it again for another 5 seconds, then only in about 5 second bursts so as not to turn it into an National League Hockey Puck. I once had an IDIOT roommate, and I tried to explain to her (MANY, MANY TIMES) that you DON'T put a roll or biscuit in for ONE MINUTE OR MORE! I never got it through her thick skull that you DON'T DO THAT!!!!! She would NOT get it and could not see WHY it would turn into a ROCK! I TRIED!!
SECOND, with pizza, you take a damp paper towel and place 1-3 slices on the damp towel and hit it on HI starting with 30-60 seconds, then check it out (30 for 1 slice, 45 more for two, and 60 seconds for 3. don't try more than 3, it's asking too much from the microwave. You wouldn't try to pull a mobile home with a Volkswagon Beetle either, same thing in a way, only different. Do the same with focacia bread or any other type of bread product such as this..
THIRD, as for chicken, you CAN do certain things with chisken in a microwave (again) IF you do it CORRECTLY! As for cooking raw chicken, I don't prefer to do this, personally. BUT I DO have good results reheating chicken. Fried chicken is one. This may take some experimentaion with your own microwave, no two are alike (different wattages, sizes, turntable or not) and I have found with mine, which is probably in the 1000 watt range +/-, and depending on the size of the pieces, that one piece will take (from the refrigerator) anywhere from 1-1 1/2 minutes and let it sit for the heat to penetrate, then check, if you think it's not hot enough then hit it for bursts of 10-15 seconds, repeat until you are satisfied. More pieces take longer. Wings and legs usually take less time to heat than thighs, but this is not a hard and fast rule since the thigh has more fat inside it and the microwaves are attracted to the fat above all, more so than water, and breasts CAN dry out VERY quickly so if you have heated one alone only start with about 45 seconds then let it sit and only hit it for 10 seconds at a time until it's right. You might get a few disapointments until you get it perfect and ALWAYS cover with plastic wrap or preferably paper towels first. It keeps from having to clean the oven when it pops from time to time. You need to take it easy so as not to end up with hard and dry food the dog won't eat. If you like your reheated fried chicken crisp like right after it came out of the fryer, put a sheet of foil on the upper rack of a regular oven, start with side that will be on the bottom when served and broil until crisped and turn over to broil the top side until it's as you like it. You will also notice that a lot of grease has drained out of the chicken and THAT is fat that you're NOT eating, too. So as far as I'm concerned, it's better for you than regular fried chicken, it's just having the willpower to let that stuff sit in that darned refrigerator first. BE STRONG, WAIT, AND YOU'LL BE REWARDED!!! I think it actually tastes a lot better. I have a friend or two that agree. They are the lucky ones. I digress, so onward.
FOURTH, as for ice cream, I don't eat it, and could not imagine WHY you would do that anyway.
FIFTH, as for fruit, I usually don't cook friut at all, unless it's baked apples. I do this in the traditional manner, in a regular oven.
SIXTH, I don't eat cake either but, I would imagine that you would follow the same directions for rolls and biscuits. It only makes sense to me that it would work.
SEVENTH, as for eggs, DON'T put a whole egg in the shell in a microwave and try to cook it. The ONLY other thing that I can think of NOT to do with an egg in one is, If you want to TRY to do a fried style egg, poke the yoke with a toothpick at time or two. The reason being, if you don't do this the membrane keeping the yoke separate will build up steam, blow out, and rupture. These are the ONLY two things that will make an egg "BLOW UP" in a microwave. You can fix scrambled eggs in one as easily as Christine D so intelligently put, LOW for 30 seconds, covered, and if not done enough experiment with 5 second shots and let it sit for a few seconds until you get where you want it. The same thing goes for the fried egg style, too.
EIGHTH, I CAN NOT, and WILL NOT ruin ANY seafood in a microwave, other than fish, (cook, not ruin that is). I either fry or poach/steam it and that is much better than microwaving it, personally.
NINTH, as for ribs, all I can say on this one is WHAT!!!!!!! WHY?????????? Ribs can be REHAETED in a microwave BUT NOT COOKED!!!!!!!!! With this you BAKE, BROIL, or GRILL them and after bringing them up to a boil and then simmering for 30-60 minutes, and this is ONLY if they are REALLY fatty ones. Save the water so as to cool and defat later, if you like add a few chopped onoins and garlic. It makes a good broth if you get some bones (ANY BONES) and roast them in the oven, then stick them in the broth and simmer it a few hours, anyway, as I was saying, you don't COOK ribs in the microwave. You reheat them in the same fashion as chicken.
TENTH, as for fish, It's the MOISTURE that you are trying not to cook out, NOT the oil!!! You also will not ever get the "HOT STEAMING SMELL OF FISH" as Maggie puts it, UNLESS you OVERCOOK it !!!! I prefer fish fillets, but I would imagine that you can do this with small whole fish also. If you like vegetables with your fish then cook them until done then season the fish and top with the vegetables, cover with a lid, plastic wrap or parchment paper. cook on HI for about 1 1/2 minutes and let sit for a couple of minutes. Since the vegetables will be hot, it speeds up the cooking time. Check the fish and see if it's done. If not hit it with shots of 15 second bursts then let it sit for a minute. Keep this up until you know how much time it takes to do it right. If you don't want vegetables, then lay the fish out on a plate or in a dish, season, and cover. Cook on HI for about 1-2 minutes or until it does not have that translucent appearance. Fold the thin pieces of the fish up under the fillet at the tail end so as not to overcook that piece of the fish. I have also cooked fish on a bed of cooked, seasoned rice, with and without vegetables. When fish is not done yet NEVER EVER continue cooking for more than 15 seconds at a time because fish can overcook in a blink, more so than chicken, and more than eggs.
Chow, ya'll!

i cook almost everything in my micro, tho i prefer a regular oven for reheatng or cooking stuff that is supposed to be crispy. i will try that expeiment with the water,tho.(see healthykicks comment) sounds interesting!

This is good to know. I'm going to try the Pam/Egg combo. I've had bad luck with eggs but you are giving me inspiration to give it another go!

My teenage sister did an experiment in her science class where they took two of the same plants and watered plant #1 with water that had been microwave and then cooled to room temperature and for plant #2, they just used regular tap water. Within a few days, the plant #1 (which had been watered with the nuked water, cooled to room temp) died and was not salvageable. Plant #2 (tap water plant) did just fine and grew normally. Basically, the reason for the experiment was to research and see if microwaved items really loose they nutrients and vitamins. We researched it further and confirmed it. Needless to say... we've stopped using the microwave and just heat up leftovers on the stove. It only takes maybe 4-5 minutes longer and it actually tastes much better in my opinion!

every time i've ever microwaved pizza it comes out soggy--the microwave is great for re-heating or defrosting things--but, I dont "cook" anything in the microwave--nothing tastes the same cooked in a microwave as it does cooked in the oven or on the stove.
Please, Please, Please never warm up baby food or bottles in the microwave--It is just plain DANGEROUS!! you get hot spots that can burn your baby--it kills the nutrients and definately never stick a bottle with the nipple on it in the microwave--it cause the nipple to become weak and could present a choking problem

The key to reheating food in the microwave is to add water or milk (like with mashed potatos)before you nuke them.

All of this article is BOGAS!

nutrients and vitamins in water?

Did you ever try cooking peeled, sliced apples with little water and "red hots" candy and cover...about 3 to 4 minutes. A great dessert with whipped cream or without a "topping."

as for cakes in the micro you all must not have had a "pampered chef" lava cake made in the rice cooker in the micro yes i said a rice cooker they are outta this world delicious and super easy and takes only 6 minutes

Bacon + Microwave = LIFE

1 Minute per slice. Nice chewy bacon. Yum.

I'm a vegetarian so i wouldn't know about the meat parts but I've put bagels in the microwave and they didn't turn out so bad...I've had worse anyway. I've also put ice cream in the microwave for about 15-25 seconds and there wasn't any serious meltage. And frozen fruit can be put in the microwave to defrost. And left-over pizza...I don't like it cold so I pop it in the microwave and all is fine and dandy.

Don't tell me that these are things that can't be made in a microwave because I have successfully cooked all of the above, at one time or another. I make beautiful cakes in mine and, I have cooked a succulent, beautiful 18 lb. turkey in it. Not dry. It's all in knowing how to do it. I have tons of books on microwave cooking and every recipe I've tried over the years, has worked beautifully. I even do cookies that are not like dried up frisbee's. There are definitely some things, like fresh bread, that I wouldn't do in the microwave, but as I said above, it's all in knowledge of what you can and cannot do.

I use the microwave for quick re-heating. I have defrosted frozen bread from 20 - 30 seconds. I have an older microwave which I think is better.

I disagree with the egg thing...we spray "Pam" in a bowl and nuke eggs all the time, trick low heat w/ 30second intervals until cooked evenly.
Same with pizza. But I agree with the shellfish there is simply not enough fat to keep it from drying out quickly.

Oh, healthykick. Please do some more research about "altering food molecules." It's called "heat."

And BTW, I've done that same water-seeds experiment in the sixth grade for a science fair project. Tried water boiled on the stove in a metal pan, boiled water from the microwave, water left out in the sun, water in a casserole dish in the oven, and just water from the tap. All five grew just fine when the other variables were the same. (Yes the water was cooled back down before I added it to the seeds/soil.)

Disgruntled: Try adding a couple teaspoons of water to the mac and cheese or potatoes before nuking them, put a loose cover on (I just use a paper plate) and they come out great. Add a little extra Smart Balance and you're good to go!

All of the foods mentioned above as "no-nos" are only no-nos if you just throw the item in and cook them on high for a whole minute (like DH. Hmph.) Don't do that. The same way you need to cook varying things at different temperatures, oven vs stove, etc, microwaving is a bit of an art.

With regard to eggs, the explosion can be averted by breaking the egg into a nuker friendly container, season to taste, whip it up, and zap the dude, the rib and the pizza should be watched over. pause the cycle, check them and continue. Also, it doesn't hurt to have a toaster oven, so you don't have to heat the whole house.

Everything has been said about the subject before, just one remark: NUKE (nuclear energy/radiation) and MICROWAVES (high frequency electromagnetic radiation) has nothing (well almost nothing) to do with each other! Thanks to God. You wouldn't want NUKE in your household I am sure:-)

I found this post to be the most ridiculous. It should be removed completely. Come on, everyone should know this, ITS ALL COMMON SENSE! I first thought it was going to tell me that nuking some of my foods where going to be harmful, but omg its just stuff everyone already knows. Fail!~