Tip for tat - What's fair in restaurant tipping?

First I want to say that I am a server and have been for 5 years now. To anyone who HAS NOT served before they have NO right to comment on any of this. You do not understand not only the work and stress of serving people but we are helping to run a restaurant. There is a lot of work being done setting the restaurant up before you open and putting everything away after you close. To those of you who "don't want to pay our salary" then maybe YOU should do something about it. Servers have tried and been denied. Maybe it's time for others to stand up as well.
The "renting of tables" issue, think of it in your own terms. If you deal with people on the phones, and you make a commision of how many people you help a day and someone wants to hold you up on the phone all day, do you get paid more? If you have someone in line "buying a cell phone" and they stand their for hours and only buy "a phone case" how many other sales do you lose out on? Put everything in a term you can relate to. No one is saying you can't sit all night drinking water, but be aware of the fact that you are taking money away from a server (unless you compensate for the time sitting and talking).
And for not tipping your bartender as much, well this is just ridiculous! They have to not only serve you but the rest of the restaurant! They have to stand there and face you while the kitchen is taking their sweet time with your food, engage themselves in a conversation with you and kiss your ass when they have a ton of work to do elsewhere. They are put under a lot of stress making you and everyone else in the restaurant happy and trying to do it all in a timely manner.
Tipping should start at a MINIMUM of 20%. If service is not good then give less, if the server goes out of their way, give more. Remember they have to tip out others, and Uncle Sam takes most of it anyways. So if you tip 20% they are leaving with 12% at best (for example, you give $20... they give out $5.. Uncle Same takes $3, here's your 12 dollars!
For all those people who "look down" on servers as if they are useless to society in some way, think about what would happen if we all quit. You would end up eating at home. And if this is more appealing to you, then by all means STAY HOME!
I have been doing this now for 5 years, I have another job and waitress at nights for extra money. I have a husband who works 2 jobs and a 6 month old son. Take into consideration that your server is doing this job for more than one reason, and it isn't all "fun and games" Not many companies have such a flexible work schedule, so there is a reason that we don't "find other jobs". Maybe others should not be so "selfish" and put yourself in someone elses shoes. If you can't afford to tip YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO EAT OUT!

I am a server myself and I expect 20%. I work at an upscale restaurant and I give service with a positve attitude and a smile. Ladies, it is a known fact that men are better tippers. Dont be a fact! If you have great service with a smile give that 20%. Everyone should have to serve once in there life. We are not babysitters, mind readers, psychic, servants, or chefs. If you are not happy with the food, it is not our fault! We did not cook it we simply just brought it out, dont take it out on us. If it is incorrect, that IS our fault. Also, most likely you are not the only guest we are serving, so if you are in a hurry go to a fast food restaurant, otherwise, sit back relax and take your time.

If you can't afford to tip, you shouldn't be going out to eat!!!! simple as that.

Well, I am a waiter so just let you know.I have to tip 4% of the subtotal (minus tax) to busboy and bartender! Regardless of how much is the tip!This surely vary in some places.And I am being taxed from approx.12 % of the subtotal as an income(tip).Not to mention that I am getting paid 3.77 $ an hour.That is something we dont see.We dont get a paycheck.If we do, it's bad.So if you give less then 16 % I end up short.

I truely don't understand why you would pay so much for your food delivered to your table, refils on drinks and hmmmm, what else?
If you're paying 20% of your bill, that's like inviting them to sit down and buy their meal, too.
With a minimum wage of, let's say 8.50, and another 20 per hour in tips you're looking at 28.50 per hour. And 20 per hour is low at 20% of a bill. I'm not sure how you figure a server should get 28, 29 dollars an hour? How did the tip % get so high when the food price has gone so high?

I have also worked as a server years ago. At that time the average tip was 10%-15%. Now it's generally 20%. And I agree with alot that's already been said. Yes, the servers should do their best to provide good service and be cheerful while doing it. Okay, well have you ever had one of those days where nothing was going right? Or you have to go to work but aren't feeling good or just don't feel like going in? Have you ever had something weighing so heavily on your mind that you can't think of anything else? I'm sure that there has been at least one of these that you can relate to. What if your boss decided that on those days he's just going to pay you less. Think about that the next time you have a server who may not be giving you the "best" service. Granted, there are servers who really should find a different line of work because they suck at their job. But think about it before you decide to punish your server by not leaving a decent tip. Could they just be having one of those days? Maybe you could be the one who can turn their day around.

Unfortunatly you need to remember the waiters are required to pay taxes on tips and most restaraunts take 10% of the bill and put that down as the tip amount. So if you tip less than 10% the waiter is basically paying for you to eat.

In college, I waited tables to help pay my way to become a teacher. Once I moved to Missouri, I realized that some teachers in rural areas are paid low enough to qualify for food stamps. I returned to waitressing until my son was born.

I base my tipping on the service, how much we actually ate and how many people were there. I remember one day on vacation, 7 of us went to a restaurant/brewery, those over 21 sampled some beers the other 3 of us just had water. Two of my friends wanted to leave about $10 in tip, I thought it was a bit excessive since none of us actually ordered food. They left what they wanted and I left nothing, for just water, I figured what everybody else left pretty much covered it. I guess it all depends on what you think was fair for the service that was provided.

I know someone has to do it, but for those COMPLAINING about having to wait tables and claims everyone is an ahole because they dont tip well, they need to try getting a DIFFERENT JOB. That attitude is problably why you dont get tips.

Having said that. I tip well. I tip well 20% most times unless they waitstaff has done something to make my stay exceptional. Most times its way into the 25-30 percent...especially if its in a very nice restaurant. (not your typical applebees)

Im not tipping for coffee unless there is some special circumstance and someone does something super special. I dont know how much Baristas get paid but if my coffee is already $5, im not shelling out anymore. A company that charges 5bucks a coffee outta pay their people more.

I have never waitressed or nor do i want to but really do have an appreciation for the hard work involved.

My boyfriend is a New Yorker and tips the usual big-apple-tax-times-2. Somehow it seems ok, more then 15 or 16%, but I think we got to tip 2o% these days. Several people have mentioned there's bus-boys etc. to think about, not to mention sometimes they try to get the wait staff to part with some of their tips to the chef. So I tip 15% if the service is'nt too good, 20% if they're ok - good , 25% if they knock themselves out OR if I bug 'em to death and they're still pleasant. Being generous to an 80yr old makes sense though, as we might be old AND POOR someday too. I worked for tips my whole life as a (cocktail)waitress, and hairdresser, so I hate to be stingy with tips. If you're very ticked off at someone, stiff 'em. They'll still have a job and we all need that, but what comes around goes around.

This is such an important topic. What about to-go orders? This morning I got my breakfast to-go and decided to leave a dollar but wondered what one should leave for a to-go order?

I am a waitress, and I absolutely HATE it when people say that tipping 10-15% is a good tip. ya right.......I agree that everyone should have to work in a customer based occupation as well. It will open your eyes to how stressfull and annoyting it is to have to wait on people who are rude and snobby. As for not tipping becasue you only had water? Well how the hell did you get the water?? the waiter obviously brought it to you, dont be so damn rude. A**holes

My standard is 18%. I reserve the 20-25% tip for truly exceptional service, which is rare. In my line of work, one's compensation is dependant on one's skill and performance; and unskilled, poor performance does not merit a raise. So that's how I deal with this issue.

Ha HA!

I am posting under my wife's name, so don't blame her.

Emily A said it all. Lots of *really* bad attitudes here on the one side.

well I have been a carhop/waitress for 20 years & I know for fact its a had way to make a living. I have built up a regalur group of customers that I can depend on to tip me well. When I go out to eat someplace I always am generous because I know that is thier salary. I work for an extremely rich & in considerate, stingy man so I always suppose that the others in my industry do too...

I work at a very large national restaurant chain and we servers are paid $3 an hour here in Ohio, which is all taken by taxes. Plus, at the end of my shift I have to tip out over 4% of my sales to bartenders, bussers, and runners. So if you tip 10%, I actually take home a little less than 6%. If you don't tip at all on your $100 check, it just cost me $4 to wait on you! Tip, and tip well!

I'm friends with several waitress, if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out.

Rule of thumb; order small, tip big, you're always welcome back.

one woman I know worked 30 years as a watress, single mom, deadbeat dad, had to raise her kid on what she made on tips. She was a good waitress, so don't think that these women (and men) are doing it 'until something better comes along' or that they're doing it because they aren't hard workers. (PS, she left it becuse she used to work at 24 hour place and had her nose broken in a robbery.)

and to that rich guy, (or the one who thinks he is,) I hope someone richer than you treats you like the dirt you treat other people like.

You're what's wrong with our society. It's really hard to be a waitress. You couldn't do it, you'd get fired first day.

My kids have worked as waiters/waitresses so I have a pretty good idea how hard the work is. I worked for years as an elementary school teacher. I got paid some of the lowest wages in the nation and taxes took up a lot of my take home, too. In an ideal world, restaurant owners would pick up the slack themselves. As if! Arguments go on and on for not tipping, but the tradition it set. You pay for service. 20% for someone who works hard, 25% for someone who works a lot harder. If someone is not willing to work hard, pay accoringly.

If 10% is good for the Lord...then 10% should be good for a waiter/waitress.