From octopus flavor to ones made from paper, here are 9 disgusting summertime snacks that are best avoided at your summer barbecue, and what to eat instead.
Octopus Flavored Tako Chips
Imagine if Goldfish, that beloved childhood snack, tasted like actual goldfish. Now you're beginning to get a sense of what these octopus chips taste like. There's an initial fishy assault on the taste buds, followed by an even more offensive aftertaste. Ah, so that's the reason our fish-shaped chips taste like cheddar cheese.
Think octopus-flavored chips are weird. Check out the craziest food inventions of all time.
Doritos Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger
The March recall of Pringles' Restaurant Cravers Cheeseburger flavor deprived "restaurant cravers" everywhere of those unpleasant chips. But the health scare wasn't enough to kill this terrible trend, and those looking to get their meat, cheese, and pickle fix in convenient chip form can still grab some of this variety.
Wash down your cheeseburger (chips) with a refreshing brew. Here are the best canned beers to drink now.
Shearer's Home Run Hot Dog
A close cousin of the cheeseburger chip, these hot dog-flavored ones miss the mark too. Shearer's did their homework - the chips do pack hints of relish, mustard and hot dog (according to their website, specifically, Sugardale brand hot dogs. OK.). But we'll take our wienies and chips side by side, thanks.
Trade in hot dog chips for mustard and beer-braised sausages (that don't come in a bag).
Walkers Spanish Chicken Paella
We could fill this list with members of the new World Cup line from British company Walkers (available at select stores in the U.S.). But instead we'll pick one representative: Spanish Chicken Paella, easily the worst flavor of the bunch. That's a serious indictment, considering other contenders include Scottish Haggis, Japanese Chicken Teriyaki, and Australian BBQ Kangaroo.
If you're craving the Spanish dish, try a seafood hot pot instead.
Digging into a bag of these chips is akin to eating paper - literally. Slim Chips, bags of brightly-colored edible paper, began as a work of art by designer Hafsteinn Juliusson. Now an Icelandic popcorn company might bring these chips, which come in mint, blueberry, cheddar and wasabi flavors, to stores later this summer. Considering Juliusson himself likens eating them to "eating tasty air," we'll pass.
Sounds like something you might find on the Gwyneth Paltrow diet, which one of our editors tried out.
Buffalo Nickel Wingers Fiery Buffalo Bleu
These snacks get their first strike before you even bite into them: the low-fat potato puffs are shaped, disturbingly, like chicken drumsticks. Even less appealing: their taste, or its lack thereof. Unfortunately, the notes of bleu cheese and spicy buffalo sauce that the company promises are nowhere to be found in this potato drumette.
Opt for the real deal with these fantastic roaster chicken wings from Linda Shire, executive chef of Scampo in Boston.
Herr's Heinz Ketchup Potato Chips
This one's a divisive flavor, one that many consider a quirky favorite. Not us. Yes, the chip is unmistakably reminiscent of ketchup. But ketchup's rightful place is as a condiment, not a food itself. These sweet, shockingly red snacks are just too much on their own, and likely even worse on a hot dog.
Stick to true barbecue style by following these seven commandments.
Pringles Restaurant Cravers Mozzarella Sticks and Marinara
These offenders recreate the worst kind of mozzarella sticks: the ones with the limp, flavorless breading and watery tomato dipping sauce. Those may work on a late-night bar menu, but the flavor remains completely unappealing when stacked in a can, under the harsh lights of the grocery store aisle.
Avoid these chips when planning a romantic picnic. Instead do this.
Doritos Crab Cream Gratin Pizza
The Japanese clearly have more fun with their potato chips than Americans do, offering flavors like Cheese & Almond, Consomme Soup, Burnt Butter, and Tuna Mayonnaise. None are made with the American palate in mind, but this seafoody pizza flavor is the most perplexing to a nation more accustomed to Cool Ranch. If you've always wondered what fish food flakes taste like, order a bag of these at napajapan.com.
PLUS: Upgrade your beer for summer.
Do you have terrible chip flavors that can top these? What is your favorite chip flavor?
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