User Post: Thank you to my two moms...

We are in the midst of birthday celebrations for our family. We have four birthdays to celebrate over the course of three months. To help us celebrate, we had my parents over one weekend and my husband's parents over another weekend.

Being with both of my "moms" reminded me again of what a fabulous heritage I have when it comes to mothering. From the moment that my oldest daughter was born, I coveted the advice and encouragement of both mothers. I still remember the panic I felt when it was time to leave the hospital with our new baby. Who would be there to make sure I didn't accidentally damage her by forgetting to do something crucial to her development?

Thankfully, I was only home a few hours before my mom showed up to help me through that challenging first week. She sat with me through late night feedings, cleaned, cooked, and gave me immense amounts of encouragement. At some point during our time together, she gave me advice that has carried me through these past nine years: "trust your instincts." Time and again, I have heard her words again in my ears as I wrestled with things like how to handle a temper tantrum, how and when to talk about the birds and the bees, and how to know if a bone is broken. I have many opportunities to beat myself up as a parent and focus on all I've done wrong, but my mom's advice, and her continued affirmation through positive observations are what help me get up in the morning of facing another challenging day of mothering.

Since we know that mothering is particularly full of challenges, I also appreciate the advice and example of my mother-in-law. Time and again she reminds me that parenting really is hard work. When you "sign on" to be a mom, you need to recognize that the work is going to just that: work. By trying to take the easy way out by letting your kids rule the show, you are only asking for more trouble down the road. By training our children now to make good choices and giving them consequences for bad choices, we are doing our part to raise up three children who can fully function in society. Since she has successfully brought three children up who are (mostly) rational and who contribute to the good and well-being of their communities (the verdict is still out on my husband, unfortunately), I am doing all I can to take her advice to heart.

These days it is very popular to claim "it takes a village" to raise our children. When it comes to my children, I am so thankful for my two moms who not only support me, encourage me and provide me an excellent example, but also for these two moms who make such generous and loving grandmothers for my four kids. I cannot think of a better gift to have as a mom than two moms who have gone ahead of me and who are willing to walk alongside me in this journey.

Thank you, Mom. (and)
Thank you, Mom.

photos by family

You can find more of Melanie's musings on motherhood here and here.