Author's Disclaimer: This article in no way promotes the misconception that all affairs are the result of the deceitful "other woman" chasing the helpless married man. But it is a sad fact that there are women out there who prefer dating a committed man and even married women who want affairs with other married men. Getting a man to have an affair that has always been faithful can be an ego boost for these types.
Knowing for certain that a certain bar fly or co-worker is not woman enough to take your man depends on a lot of factors. In the Psychology Today article "Questions about Marriage, Monogamy and Multiple Relationships", it states that "A recent article published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy suggested that 45-55% of women and 50-60% of men engage in extramarital sex at some time during the course of their marriage." This means that your husband has a one in two chance of meeting another female that makes him rethink his vows. Many in my circle of friends have experienced this heartache and it might surprise you as to why. In most cases the "other woman" had none of the qualities that are associated with Hollywood's versions of mistresses, quite the opposite actually.
She Is a Buxom BombshellThe most common misconception among those who are worried about their husband's having an affair is worrying about the women they feel are more attractive then themselves. In many cases I have seen, looks had nothing to do with it. Not that the men did not feel the other woman was pretty, they had to be attracted in order to go there; it's just that they didn't feel that she was prettier than their wives. In most instances the other woman was just as attractive "but different" or wasn't even considered as physically attractive but possessed other qualities that peaked their interest.
She Has Animal MagnetismWhen considering if she is woman enough to take your man, the image of the leggy blonde sensually sipping her wine at the bar, enticing men near and far with her come hither stare as the common "other woman" makes me laugh. Even if a female is well known for her interest in married men, she very rarely is a seductive siren. Though I am sure there are cities that house these kind of extramarital enticements, the majority of these women are anything but. Plus, men do not get enough credit in this department. A faithful man who isn't looking for trouble will stay far away from this type of girl. One common tactic for a woman that is wanting to stir up sexual discontent in your marriage is to treat your husband as a buddy. She'll confide in him about her sexual fantasies and then blush and act embarrassed like she just couldn't help but tell him. The statements "I've never done this before." or "It's just all so different with you; you make me feel secure in sharing this." should raise red flags.
She Has More in Common With Him Then You DoThough spending a lot of time in the company of someone of the opposite sex who enjoys the same things you do can present a risk for guys and gals alike, do not use this as a deciding factor if another woman is a threat or not. One personal example is a man I know who loves feminine women. He is turned off by a lack of manners, a spoiled attitude, a controlling demeanor, unfounded jealousy and one of his pet peeves are what he refers to as "little yap dogs". He almost had an affair with another married woman who never wore makeup (until he started talking to her), burped loudly after slamming a beer, had a small dog that she treated like her child and kept her husband on a very short leash as well. When it was brought up that she was everything he found unattractive, he didn't deny it; he just couldn't explain why it didn't matter. Do not dismiss the women who are not your husband's type if they seem to be getting a little too friendly.
She Openly Disses YouOnce again, men need to be given more credit. Unless a man is a serial cheater or a lousy husband in general, he will not fall for a woman that openly puts you down. In that case, every girl is woman enough to take your man and I suggest that you let them all have him. Instead, the women that need to be watched are those that continually seemed concerned about both of you. Common statements like "You're wife seems upset tonight, I hope I didn't say anything wrong" or if she knows she did do something over the line she'll say "I hope I didn't start any trouble". These are classic moves on the part of a female that does want to start something. By doing it this way, she puts the idea in your husband's head, as well as sometimes yours, that there is something wrong. In addition your husband may feel sorry that she is worried about it and feel a little resentful at you for making her feel that way even if nothing even happened. If a man is not careful about girls like this, they can instantly put him on the defensive with you which does make you upset. If you in turn do defend yourself, it makes her look right in her assessment. It can be a no win situation for unsuspecting couples. Women like this have learned that it is possible to actually create trouble in a relatively trouble-free marriage.
To combat any of these common men-stealing tactics, it takes a level head.