Are your kids' friends toxic? Tweens can be defensive when it comes to parents pointing out faulty friends. Bad-mouthing your tweens' choices is a good way to raise a rebel. Remember that one friend your parents hated? How did that make you feel? I bet you continued your friendship, despite your parents' feelings. So just what can you do to keep your tween out of toxic friendships? As usual, example is the best teacher.
Take a good look at your own friendships. Do you have a healthy relationship with your own friends? If your friends are toxic, your tween may see their behavior as normal. Why set your child up for failure through your own bad example? Don't be cruel to your own toxic friends. Just learn to say no when they want to socialize. Keep them away from your kids and yourself so you both can lead a stress-free life.
Lay some groundwork. Stop toxic tween friendships before they start. Teach tweens to watch for these toxic friend traits:
*Toxic friends are often controlling or manipulative.
*Toxic friends criticize frequently.
*Toxic friends are often jealous, possessive or clingy.
*Toxic friends can be dishonest or disobedient.
*Toxic friends engage in dangerous or inappropriate behavior.
Let your tween learn by experience, but safely. Some lessons are best learned through trial and error. As long as your tween is in no serious danger, let them learn small friendship lessons on their own. Nothing illustrates the importance of having honest, trustworthy friends quite as well as being lied to or lied about.
Trust your parenting skills. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation. Have faith in yourself and your child. You've taught them well. You've given them a good example. The rest is up to them. Remember, showing trust keeps them from turning to toxic friends. It also keeps them from becoming toxic tweens, themselves.
Help your tweens' toxic friends if possible. They may be victims of abuse. Their parents may be neglectful. Try not to judge. Offer help instead. Make a special effort to treat them with the kindness and respect they lack at home. Even if they're not victims of bad parenting, try to give them positive guidance. They may not be as toxic as you think.
More from Jaipi:
Does your tween long to be a teen?
Changing tweens bad health habits before they start
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