5 Ways to Deal with Your Child's Separation Anxiety

How to ease your child's separation anxietySeparation anxiety is a completely normal developmental milestone that typically shows up around the 6-month mark, although it really doesn't peak until those early toddler months, around 12 to 18 months. And it is the worst.

Being a working mother, I had to leave him with family caregivers when he was 7 weeks (sniff) and then at a daycare when he was 5 months (deep breaths) and then at a new daycare/preschool setting when he turned 18 months. And although it was hardest for me when he was an infant, it was really the 18-month separation that was the hardest on him.

Related: 9 things to do with your baby this fall

Whether you're leaving your baby with a part-time babysitter every now and then, or you're heading back to work soon, there are very specific DOs and DON'Ts I learned when it comes to handling separation anxiety. I learned all of these tricks from the phenomenal infant/toddler daycare teachers we had when my son was 18 months old, when every morning drop-off was like a torture experiment for my soul.

1. Transition with short separations
It's best to start out with a familiar face - a Grandma or an Aunt - and just leave for maybe 15 minutes. Work your way up to an hour. Even if your baby doesn't cry or get upset, you're teaching a very important lesson: mommy/daddy always comes back.

Related: 15 children's books every family should own

2. Transition into introducing your new caregiver/daycare setting
If you're using a babysitter, start off by having him/her over for lunch. Let them play together in another room in the house. Make your baby feel comfortable and familiar. If you'll be using a daycare facility, on the other hand, ask about a transitional period. My son started out just playing there for an hour or so (with me), and then we'd slowly transition into me leaving for an hour, then a few hours, then eventually a full day. It won't guarantee a tear-free goodbye, of course, but it monumentally helps. Our preschool now does home visits before the first day, which helps them get to know each other on familiar turf.

3. Leave a comfort object
When Noah was an infant, I used to leave him one of my previously worn shirts that smelled like me to cuddle with during naps. Or, of course, a precious lovie that feels like home. We also left family pictures with his daycare, which I think helped a lot.

Related: 8 family photos to take with your baby this fall

4. Talk about what's happening
It also helps to read books that reassure your baby that you'll always come back. On the way over to school every morning, we'd talk about what was going to happen in specific detail - how we'd put his backpack away, go to the texture table, give hugs, etc. - so that he was prepared ahead of time.

5. Leave detailed instructions for your babysitter or daycare teacher
Include soothing techniques (if you know of any that work with your child), and be sure to leave your contact number in case your baby is still feeling anxious and upset.

Kids typically calm down by the time we pull out of the driveway, but if you get a call or an after-school report that it took a long time for him or her to stop crying, or that there was a lot of anxiety throughout the day, you might want to try transitioning in again more slowly - or possibly even finding a different childcare solution, if the problem doesn't get better.

But it will get better. It always does. Now go discreetly dry your tears and put on a happy face.

- By Michelle Horton
Follow Michelle on Disney Baby

For 5 things NOT to do when dealing with your child's separation anxiety, visit Disney Baby!

MORE ON DISNEY BABY
7 books to help ease separation anxiety
5 "new mom" things I swore I'd never do
10 encouraging quotes every mom needs to read
15 things ALL parents need to stay sane throughout the day
6 everyday household items my baby finds fascinating

Disney Baby | DisneyBaby.com
Stay connected. Follow Disney Baby on Facebook and Twitter.