You will never agree with your partner all of the time. There will be plenty of things you both have opinions on, and that is what makes a partnership work. In my marriage, each of us have very strong beliefs and views on many subjects from parenting to religion and everything in between. I have learned that in order to keep things civil, there are topics we should avoid discussing. These are the taboo topics in my marriage, and why we have stopped talking about them altogether.
This is a touchy subject any way you look at it. There are many people that are pro-life, and just as many that are pro-choice. I feel very strongly on this subject and my husband falls somewhere in the middle. I have fought with him over and over about it, especially because someone we both know had an abortion. The feelings it has ensued has caused some pretty heated arguments in my marriage, so I have chosen to throw the topic into the "do not discuss" box.
While most of our opinions are similar, there are two issues we vary greatly on. In order to keep our relationship peaceful during the election season, politics is off the table. The ironic thing is, we would probably both vote the same way, but the arguments over the minor things drive me mad and he knows it. Political conversations with friends and family never end well, so again this is put away in that same box.
This does nothing but cause arguments between us on a daily basis. A little over a month ago, I decided that I would not mention anything about money or where it was being spent. While that is not the best solution to the financial problems we are having, it definitely eases the stress from the fights we were having. There is never enough money to do what we want to do, but as long as our bills are paid, I am content. The "no talking about money" rule has improved the relationship we have and eliminated half the fighting. Of course we do sit down to budget and figure money out for the week ahead, but I don't ask questions about where his "allowance" is spent.
He has his beliefs and I have my own way of thinking. Surprisingly enough, this is the area we have completely different views on. I will respect his way of thinking and allow him to share it with our boys, but I will not participate for the most part. I learned that when I say nothing at all, it works out the best. He is passionate about what he thinks, and I just sit back and watch as he explains things to our children. When I argued with him about how I felt and what I did or did not believe, it accomplished nothing.
Now that we have been together nearly four years, it is clear where we both draw our lines. It has taken a lot of time to be comfortable saying "I don't want to talk about it" or just changing the subject. These four issues have caused a lot of arguing in my relationship, but now that we are trying avoided them, things have been much better.
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