Have you ever been involved with a man who had to have everything his own way? Whether it is choosing where to have dinner or which way you drive to Aunt Sally's house, he must call the shots. There are usually a variety of reasons to stay quiet and let him get away with it, but your silence sends a message that his behavior is OK with you. Successful relationships are all about give and take so both of you need to be compromising and adjusting to each other's needs. If you constantly let him take control, there will be some negative effects on you.
He will walk all over youMen who like to get their own way will usually test the waters by starting small. When you first begin dating someone, politeness is always a top priority and so he won't push too hard. He might start by asking what you want to do, then throw in his idea after yours. The chances are, you will agree to do his thing so you don't seem like a diva. Once he starts to get things his way, though, he will want more and more. Being trampled over is not the best way to go through life, so try not to let it become a habit.
He will belittle your opinionsThis is one of the more irritating traits of a man who likes to be the boss. There is just no point in trying to engage in a debate with him because you will never be right. After a while, it can start to feel as if he is belittling your opinions. Not all men who do this will do it intentionally, some men are simply oblivious to anyone's feelings but their own. However, the end result of feeling worthless is the same either way.
Your self esteem will sufferAfter being worn down and feeling as if your opinions count for nothing, your self-esteem will take a huge hit. The process of chipping away at your self worth will be slow and you may not even see it happening until it's too late. Sometimes this will spell the end of the relationship, other times it might make you feel as if you don't deserve anything better.
A friend of mine once had a relationship with a man who lived by the "It's my way or no way" motto. She felt it was easier just to let him do whatever he wanted because she didn't like to argue. Over time, I watched her turn from a vibrant, happy person to a quiet, submissive person. It broke my heart to see her confidence lowering and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it. It wasn't until she got herself out of the relationship that she realized just how miserable she had become. It took a long time for her to re-build her confidence, but when she did, it was great to see that she was finally back to her old self!
Speaking up for yourself is something you should never be afraid to do. Unfortunately, there are some men who seek to control and might become abusive, either verbally or physically. If at any point you are genuinely afraid, you should seek help immediately before any further damage is done. However, many men are simply unaware of the way they are behaving. Once they realize you aren't happy with having your needs disregarded, they will usually stop doing it.
Your opinions and feelings are of equal importance to his and if he doesn't understand that and refuses to hear you, he probably doesn't deserve to be with you.
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