Being stood up is one of the social world's most embarrassing incidents. Those who have been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment understand full well how crummy it feels. The reasons why people stand up their family and peers aren't always malicious, per se. Indeed the manner in which people stand you up sometimes says a lot about the reason they've done so.
Loose Ends...
You make tentative plans for a date and agree to touch base to settle on a time. But no bases are ever touched. Your companion has simply failed to close the deal. Being "stood up" in this manner usually implies some measure of guilt. Perhaps better plans came along and he/she simply didn't want to disappoint you. This method could be considered the most benign.
The offender may even later attempt to explain the absence with a mild sob story. In any event, in failing to set a time/place, the perpetrator succeeds in leaving loose ends, effectively creating a sense of doubt—a gray area that gives leeway for forgiveness. If the Deal Breaker tries to make it up to you in the future, pay close attention to signs of flakiness.
The Smooth Let-Down
This one can be kind of tricky. It works something like this: your date waits until the day (or perhaps mere minutes) before your rendezvous time to cancel the plans. The reason is typically sound. You take the bait, and agree to schedule for a different time. There's only one problem. The canceled dates seem to outnumber the fulfilled ones. You'll have to analyze this one rather carefully. Most people don't always equate canceled dates with being stood up. But to the person on the receiving end, it's pretty much all the same. In this instance, the offender is probably fond of you, but either has an unpredictable schedule or something/someone else to occupy time. You can sometimes expect this kind of behavior in the beginning stages of dating when people are still actively pursuing all of their options.
The Ultimate Snub...
You've just finished your first beer and there are still no signs of your Match.com cutie. After another (brief) grace period, you have come to the prickly conclusion that you've been stood up. If this is a first meeting, it's usually a pretty bad sign. Unless the circumstances are the most extreme (natural disasters, sudden unconsciousness, Sex and the City marathons, etc.), there are few excuses that will fly. The Ultimate Snub doesn't usually require much contemplation. The person who stood you up knows how poorly they've behaved. Suffice it to say, you will probably never see or hear from your date again.
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