Blond

Do you remember Sun In, the spray-in hair color that was supposed to make one's mane look sun-kissed, and pale blond, but instead turned it the color of burnt yolk? Remember how you'd spritz it on before laying out in your backyard and you'd hope upon hope that by the end of the day you'd  be golden-tan and light-haired, like some kind of teenage Bo Derek?

Then remember when the summer of fried hair and burnt skin was over and you had to grow out the Sun-In hair and it looked terrible, like a Halloween freak, all dark roots against crisp orange hair and maybe then you dyed it black and pretended you were goth? But the whole time you just felt really ugly and sad that things had not worked out and you were never thin enough, your hair never blond enough, and you were never going to look like Bo Derek because she had boobs and you didn't. The entire enterprise was therefore useless so you listened to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack and cried yourself to sleep... Read More »