Cheating woman

As I shopped this morning I fished for men, and I was fished for in return. (Looking at me, you still don’t notice my hair.) Pushing my cart past the almond butters and organic brown eggs, it occurred to me though, how much my confidence has been shaken by the hair loss; how incredible it is that this one physical alteration can completely change my own perception of myself; how much every one of my thoughts and interactions and verbal exchanges hinges upon me feeling attractive. And if I am no longer considered attractive, what would be left of me? Read More »

Walking through the hotel bar today with little Spencer, sunburned, no makeup, in shorts with a tank top, a handsome handsome daddy watched me go by. He watched me pass like he was a lion and I was a tasty zebra. Like we were cartoon characters stranded on a desert island and when he looked at me, my head turned into a giant chicken drumstick. Like it was December 24th and I was the Christmas ham. He licked his chops. I love that look. It is so animalistic. It reminds me of something that once happened with Detective Curt. It was near the end of one of our afternoon sex sessions. I was on my back and Curt was f------ me missionary style. As I’ve said, Curt was a marathon man. He’d been going all day, and now he decided it was time to come. Read More »

When it comes to men, I am a junk food junkie. I’ve written that married men, like in-between-meal snacks, are empty calories; they fill you up, but fail to nourish you. (Lankrypt, hysterically, commented that, like junk food, married men go right to your hips.) I think somewhere here lies the answer to that eternal question, “What is the difference between hedonism and self-nurturing?” (Okay. It is not eternal. I only asked it earlier today, but it has been on my mind a lot.) Hedonism is not eating all day, and then consuming a ding dong for dinner. Hedonism is having a relationship with your husband that does not include sex, and then sleeping with five married men in less than one year. Hedonism is a commitment to pleasure, with a simaltaneous total failure to self-nourish. Read More »