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Dear Friend or Foe, I've just moved back to the town where I grew up and reconnected with a woman—“Linda”—whom I knew in college 20 years ago. We weren't good friends then. In the present, however, she's pushing for a close friendship. Despite the allure of a same-age friend, I'm not sure I want what she has to offer. My problem is that Linda wants to be too close to me, in every sense of the word. Read More »
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Dear Friend or Foe, I spent the summer in Rome. (My work is such that I can go wherever I like.) A friend—“Trish”—invited herself to visit for 11 days. I told her that was too long, and she said it wouldn't be worth the jet lag to shorten her stay. So I agreed. My mistake. Read More »
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Dear Friend or Foe, I’m in my 30s and have been friends with “Erin” since we were 6. Erin is getting married next month. I think she's making a mistake. I like her fiance as a person, but he strung her along for nine years. She also frequently complains to me that their sex life is nearly nonexistent. What’s more, she confided last year that he admitted to having a one-night stand with another man. In fact, she expressed fears about his sexuality just a few months before he proposed. I happen to be a bisexual person in a committed, monogamous, hetero-marriage, so I'm not judging him based solely on one bicurious episode. But a couple that only has sex twice a year before they walk down the aisle seems destined for serious intimacy issues. Read More »
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A couple of weeks ago, my two closest friends and I went to a small live-music venue to hear a band. While at the concert, someone “slipped me a mickey.” I remember nothing about the rest of the evening, but I was told that the police officer found me lying alone on the sidewalk. I came-to in the hospital E.R.—alone. Read More »
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Welcome to "Friend or Foe," a regular Double X advice column for your queries about the trickiest of all love affairs: friendships. Lucinda Rosenfeld, author of I'm So Happy For You, a novel about best friends, is now taking questions at lucinda@imsohappyforyou.com.
Dear Friend or Foe,
I'm at a loss over a situation with a close friend of mine who recently had a baby. When “Kelly” was pregnant, she was at my house nearly every day, hanging out, asking if various pregnancy symptoms were normal, and playing with my kids as "practice." I helped her deal with the mood swings and hormones. I tried to comfort her after she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her throughout the pregnancy.
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By Lucinda Rosenfeld
From DoubleX
Welcome to "Friend or Foe," a regular Double X advice column for your queries about the trickiest of all love affairs: friendships. Lucinda Rosenfeld, author of I'm So Happy For You, a novel about best friends, is now taking questions at lucinda@imsohappyforyou.com.
Dear Friend or Foe,
My best friend “Taylor” and I have been friends for more than eight years, going back to high school. We share the same outlook on a lot of things, but lately we’ve been having the same fight over and over. I have a problem with her butting in on my sex life or, really, my lack of one.
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By Lucinda Rosenfeld
From Double X
Welcome to "Friend or Foe," a regular Double X advice column for your queries about the trickiest of all love affairs: friendships. Lucinda Rosenfeld, author of I'm So Happy For You, a novel about best friends, is now taking questions at lucinda@imsohappyforyou.com.
Dear Friend or Foe,
Lately I've become the frequent victim of “friend lumping”: I make plans with a friend whom I haven't seen in a while to get dinner or a drink, and by the time we arrive at our destination, at least one other person has been added to the group. Sometimes I get advanced warning—"Oh, by the way, Kelly is coming, too"—and other times it's a total shock. Either way, I tend to be disappointed. I love seeing my friends in groups, and often organize group outings. But there are times when I just want to rock the one-on-one catch-up.
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By Lucinda Rosenfeld
From Double X
Welcome to "Friend or Foe," a regular Double X advice column for your…
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By Lucinda Rosenfeld
From Double X
Dear Friend or Foe,
As a woman in my early 30s, I feel stressed and alienated by the pregnancies of my close female friends. Yes, I know these friends will be wonderful mothers. Yes, I adore them. Yes, I eventually want children of my own. And yes, I believe that birth is a glorious, joyful occasion for celebration. But these feelings of happy anticipation are overshadowed by fears for the future of our adult friendships, my own anxieties about if and how I will have rug rats of my own, and the sinking feeling of loss. Thoughts?
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