User Post: Is age really just a number? To lie or not to lie, that is the question.

I've always looked young for my age and consider myself lucky for it. Since I was in my 20's, I would tell people my age and always got a kick out of their reactions. There were some jaw drops, people practically falling out of their chairs, it was good for a laugh. But now that I am officially over 40, the whole game has changed.


Looking back over my life, I spent my 20's struggling with depression, anxiety and low-self esteem in addition to the choke hold of a moderately dysfunctional family. A lot of soul searching took place in addition to time and money poured into therapy. My 30's were basically spent catching up by getting more experience professionally and going to grad school. Lying doesn't come easily to me, except for the occasional white lie, I'm extremely honest.


And for many years, I carried this honesty is the best policy in regards to my age. But once I started getting into my late 30's, the reactions weren't so funny any more. I told my former boss the truth about my age. He just said a few things which ended up with "that's messed up" and looked at me and said "no, actually, that's good". Well, the damage had been done. With 'that' being 'me', it basically means that I'm messed up.


I take a lot of pride in how I have managed to move forward but I look around and I am not anywhere near where I should be. My boyfriend is in the same boat and has told his co-workers he is 10 years younger than he really is. But I've always resisted lying but must face facts. People judge you based on age and if you haven't 'made it' it's even worse. So for now, I stopped telling people. I basically disarm them with a demure "I'd rather not say". Or maybe I could say something along the lines of "you know it's rude to ask a woman her weight or her age." So what to do? I've heard that in places like L.A., they tell people to shave off 5 years. I could probably get away with 10 but think I will go the more conservative 5 year route. I've been practicing saying it in my head up to this point.


So all you ladies out there, how do you deal with this question? Do you just bite the bullet and tell the truth? How do you handle the age question; what's your strategy?