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    13 Things Your Mother-in-Law Won't Tell You

    By Maureen Mackey

    Build a better relationship with his mother by remembering these things she'd like to say but won't (you hope!)

    1. I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role. It hurts to be downsized.

    2. I know he's your husband now, but he's still my son.

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    3. You don't seem very confident about yourself. The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I'm very careful what I say around you.

    4. Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, "That's it. No more." Yet look at me: I'm about to send another present. I guess that's how I am.

    5. We mothers say to our children, "I want you to be happy." And we mean that. What we don't say is, "But I would like to be happy too."

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    6. I've bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won't you ask for my advice?

    7. When I visit you, I'm not coming for a white-glove inspection. I'm just coming to see the family.

    8. When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don't call your house. I call his cell phone.

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    9. I'm so happy that you allow my son-your husband-to visit me on Mother's Day. It's a long trip and a big expense. I'm truly appreciative.

    10. My dirty little secret: I'm afraid that if I don't get this right, you'll cut me off.

    11. I'm in competition with your mother. She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can't afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that's enough and that it's appreciated.

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    12. Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things. I'm lucky to have you!

    13. I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill."

    Sources: Susan Abel Lieberman, PhD (The Mother-in-Law's Manual), Jane Angelich (What's a Mother [in-Law] to Do?), and anonymous mothers-in-law in four states.

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    33 comments

    • Minty Me  •  2 years 2 months ago
      MIL needs some serious therapy.
    • Kay  •  2 years 2 months ago
      I must be lucky in life because I have an awesome Mother-in-Law.
    • Flame-n-Heather  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Lol at #13!! I like these. Wish my MIL was still alive.
    • Jett  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Wow, I feel really depressed now. (I'm the daughter-in-law.)
    • mich  •  2 years 2 months ago
      I'm beyond blessed to have a mother in law that is a woman I wish I had as my real mom, she is absolutely amazing. The whole family is amazing.
    • Disgruntled  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Puh-lease. This would be a joy compared to my mother-in-law. Her list would be more like...

      1. You stole my son but you're only temporary so if I ignore you long enough, you'll go away.

      2. It's your birthday?! Didn't I send you a card?

      3. Why don't you have another baby. I'm tired of your son, what's-his-name, because he's no longer little or cute any more.

      4. You know how I complain about all my in-laws and grandkids to you when you visit. Well, you should hear the things I say about you to them.

      5. I will remind you until the day I die, that the girl next door, the one my son SHOULD have married, is smarter, richer, prettier and more talented than you are. I will NEVER refer to her by her married name because she should be married to my son.

      6. You have to visit whenever I tell you because I am the most important thing in the world. If you've made plans with your family, cancel them because your family doesn't matter.

      7. I reserve the right to be critical of your family whenever I want even though I've never bothered to get to know them.

      8. I will not eat your cooking no matter how good it is. If you've made dessert, I'm bringing ice cream. If you've planned a meal, I'm going to offer to take everyone out to dinner.

      Want to lose your son and never see your grandkids. Act like this. I have a son and I have vowed not to become my mother-in-law.
    • 元贵  •  2 years 2 months ago
    • itsallaboutska  •  2 years 2 months ago
      I definitely agree with Shandi...I feel extremely blessed to have a wonderful man and future MIL. I feel sorry for all of you who have horrid MIL's...I've seen what some can be like, and good Lord am I happy that I won't have to deal with that.
    • Jenny  •  2 years 2 months ago
      This was an incredibly stupid article for an average mother-in-law, let alone my incredibly selfish MIL.
    • Krissy  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Yawn. Pointless.
    • Broco Lee  •  2 years 2 months ago
      My daughter's mother in law is a nightmare. At the wedding, she dressed like she just came from the bar (at 11:30 AM!). My daughter, Leigh has asthma, but her MIL won't put out a cigarette around her (or my granddaughter). She offered to let her son store his furniture and personal belongings when he went to basic training, then defaulted on paying the bill, then told my daughter if she wanted Mike's stuff, she'd have to pay $500 for past rent and to get the lock off. Before Mike left for the Army, she told him he needed to focus on Leigh and staying safe. A few weeks later when she talked with Leigh and asked if she'd heard from Mike, Leigh told her of a few letters she got. "He never writes ME!" she complained. When Mike came home on leave, the first words out of his mother's mouth was "Can I have $40?" She is such a loser.
    • Lets Do It Now And No One ...  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Also, another one is ,
      your husband's package is small, do not blame me, blame his father. His package was small to. I never told you because i wanted you to suffered the same surprise and pain I went thought after seeing how small my husband' s package.
    • Lil Bear  •  2 years 2 months ago
      My MIL is ery sweet and nice. It's her son that treats her like garbage sometimes. I'm always the one telling him to call her and setting up dinners with her
    • Shandi  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Wow reading these comments and this article makes me feel very lucky to have such a wonderful man and future MIL...
    • Bethany  •  2 years 2 months ago
      My mother in law is fabulous and I adore her! She would never say ANY of those things. But we communicate very well and she treats me like one of her own. And my parents are the same way with my hubby. Sometimes I think this stuff is overreacting. My step MIL is another story but shes only been in the picture the same amount of time as me.... my hubby and I just aren't quite moral enough I guess. Whatevs.
    • happyboys  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Yeah right! More like the movie, MONSTER IN LAW!
    • sf79  •  2 years 2 months ago
      this was a really stupid article. my mother-in-law is awesome and super laid back. i love my inlaws. these "tips" sound like they're coming from a very snooty, somewhat selfish person.
    • Monkey's Momma  •  2 years 2 months ago
      My hubbys MIL is a pain in the ass. I feel bad for him. Mine is pretty cool though. My first one sucked so when I found this one I really went shopping for MILs
    • smarterthanyou  •  2 years 2 months ago
      They need the equivalent, 'how to be a good daughter in law' because my sister in law could use some help.
    • deborah  •  2 years 2 months ago
      I love my MIL. My mom is gone and my MIL has never tried to take her place but is always there when I need her.

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