15 clues I'm a grownup, even if I don't act like one

Clue #8: The There are a lot of rites of passage to becoming a woman: your first period, your sweet sixteen, your voting card, driver's license, invitation to the adult table at holidays. But those are markers of physical adulthood. Mental adulthood is a whole different story.

When faced with the responsibility for another person's livelihood, whether it's a child or a parent, you're instantly foisted into adulthood. But with an increasing number of 20 and 30 somethings living under their parents' roof, and having children later, that's not the case. One side effect is that a lot of technical adults are facing a crisis of maturity, or "Thrisis," according to CNN.

While I consider my protracted youth a privilege not a crisis, I've definitely had some slaps in the face ever since I turned 30 two years ago. I'm an adult child. I'm not proud of this, but it's the truth. At 32, I'm a single, childless, urban-dweller with parents a borough away and a gaggle of equally childless best friends who still enjoy sleepovers and board games. I wear penny loafers. Like, a lot. My diet, at times, looks like a sleep-away camp care package: mini bags of chips, Capri Sun when I can find it, Mac and Cheese (I like the shapes!). Sure, some friends are married, some younger relatives have kids. Hangovers are harder to get over and more people have real jobs. But those are the kinds of age markers we were warned about. It's the more subtle cues, lately, that have had me thinking it's really time to grow up.

1. Food is the main event. With age comes an increased interest in food. A few years ago, substance and the abuse of it sent people in droves to packed house parties with no working bathrooms. Now, it's all about the cheese. The snack table--Triscuits, wedges of brie, little things wrapped around other little things--has become a mainstay at gatherings. The next morning, my stomach usually feels worse than my head. I've also noticed that the dinner portion of a "big night out" is the longest, best and sometimes only portion of the night. Despite plans for party-hopping after "grabbing a bite," all anyone wants to do after a big meal, is go home where the bathroom, bed and television are all in close proximity.

2. "Mind if I crash here?" is no longer a rhetorical question. Because sometimes people say no and hand you the number of the local car service. I'm a notorious crasher. I get really sleepy at the end of the party and enjoy making a little bed for myself like a puppy on a cushioned surface. With most couples living together, nobody's too thrilled about finding this puppy on the sofa watching movies from their DVD collection in the morning.

3. Gimmicks aren't fashionable anymore. For years I've relied on patterns rather than quality material to dictate my style. Sailboats, hearts and retro-themed t-shirts look not-so-adorable next to my stray gray hairs. I always figured that I'd change my style when I wanted too, not when "society" mandated it. But I also stopped using the term "society" in that way. The fact is, even if I feel like a kid in a Forever 21 blouse with a peter pan collar and an arrangement of anchors, I look like Courtney Love.

4. I shop alone. Another thing I notice in the Forever 21 dressing room: shopping is no longer a group effort. The consumers who are closer to 21, as the store suggests they should be, are tossing tops over the dressing room curtains. My shopping excursions are all business. I go in, get the thing I don't really need but think I need, and then spend the night telling myself I can always return it.

5. News anchors are my age. This has hit me the hardest. Anchor age is one I hoped I'd never reach. I'm not talking eager cub reporter. I'm talking person behind the desk with blow-dried bangs, and a sensible '90s Hillary Clinton lady suit warning you about your kids' Twitter addiction.

6. The word 'love' is hard to come by. I used to tell everyone I loved them. Brand new friends, week-long exchange student flings, other people's parents. Those who made it before my mid-30s cut off date still get the regular treatment, but I've learned to be more sparing with the word with new recruits. With people starting families or coming out of long-term relationships, love has a deeper meaning, fraught with endurance, loyalty and baggage. I don't want to scare anyone off.

7. The word 'Wainscotting,' less so. There's a new vocabulary of home improvement I may need Rosetta Stone's assistance with.

8. Sometimes 'STDs' stand for 'Save the Date' cards. I was very relieved when I figured that out.

9. I'm on team Facinelli. This whole Team Edward, Team Jacob "Twilight" phenomenon really threw me off. I'm not attracted to either R-Patz or Lautner. I can clearly see they're symmetrical but that's about it. My reproductive organs only respond to the Vampire dad, Peter Facinelli, who will forever be Jennifer Love Hewitt's jerky ex in "Cant Hardly Wait."

10. True crime is better than ever. This past year I've developed a voracious appetite for all things "48 Hours Mystery" and "20/20." Murderous marriages, cold cases and courtroom dramas have become synonymous with 'me-time.' A few years ago, I wouldn't be able to sit through a single episode, but I think I've fallen into a new demographic (women, aged 32-55). I also notice most of these shows air on Friday and Saturday nights. Huh.

11. Everything is really annoying. Suddenly, Andy Rooney doesn't sound so complain-y. He's got a point: staplers don't ever work consistently. And milk doesn't stay fresh as long as its expiration date. I'm also more likely to complain directly to people. I send food back occasionally, or I say things like "put your manager on the phone." I'm not sure why, but it gets the Led out.

12. Everyone isn't older than me. This was the biggest revelation for me. Two years ago, a co-worker I always thought was my age, turned out to be 23. "I had no idea you're that young," I said. "Get this: I'm 30!" Here's what he said: "I know."

13. Not even doctors. Sure old classmates have families and kids, but the biggest wake-up call is when they have big-time jobs. I'm talking international policy-making or holding a beating heart in your hand type gig. A few doctors I've been too recently may have been in my freshman year dorm. And Facebook informed me that a guy I knew in high school writes speeches for the President. I read an article about him in the Washington Post, scanning the lines for terms like "young whipper snapper" or "youngest ever." But no, he's just a really smart guy at an age when people let you decide big, important things.

14. Calling my peers "boys" or "girls" feels silly. It's a little infantilizing, no? But I also can't seem to spew the sentence "I met a man." It seems too serious, like I'm talking about Michael Nouri, a handsome widow, in a Lifetime Movie. And I don't usually meet those men.

15. I find out there's a wildly popular song called G6, not from friends, but from headline news. That happens a lot, these days.