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    4 Former Bullies Apologize to Their Victims

    By | Work + Money – Wed, Apr 6, 2011 7:31 PM EDT

    by Jessica Press, REDBOOK
    To: My second-grade classmates at Jefferson Elementary school in Wisconsin
    I was mean-spirited and confused when I was 6. If I close my eyes, I can still picture one of my cruelest days perfectly: It was a snowy winter afternoon in Wisconsin, and my second-grade classmates and I were running around the playground during recess when I spotted a piece of frozen dog poop on the ground. I went right for it and threw it at someone I had cornered, picked it back up, and flung it at the next poor target. I thought it was hilarious, but it was a disgusting thing to do - and I got away with it. I always did.

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     Like the time I persuaded my two best friends to fill a book of Mad Libs with swear words and let them take the fall when the teacher confiscated it. I can still feel the hole I'd get in my stomach as I watched others get in trouble for my stunts; I was too much of a coward to 'fess up.

    I didn't realize it then, but my bullying was a way for me to take control when everything else in my life seemed unpredictable. I went to six different schools before I was 11 because my parents moved around a lot for new jobs. To feel comfortable with my ever-changing surroundings, I manipulated others. I didn't stop until middle school, when it got harder to find anyone to do my dirty work.

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    As I raise my three children, Sophia, 7, Etienne, 5, and Charlotte, 2, I cringe at the thought of any of them acting like I did or being treated with that kind of cruelty. Sophia recently came home from school with a hole in her shirt. A classmate had poked a pencil through it because she was mad that Sophia had something new to wear. While my heart broke to see her in tears, I could relate to the mean girl who had done this to her. As we chatted, I learned that the bully didn't have many friends, so I suggested that Sophia invite the girl to join in the next time she's playing with classmates. And I told her that bullies aren't bad kids: They're acting out for other reasons. - JAMIE GUMIENY-FINK, 32
    Read 3 more apologies from bullies: I Was a Bully - Adult Bullies Apologize - Redbook