Thanks to Beyoncé and J.Lo, a badunkadunk is an essential part of a smokin' bod. But simply having a big ass isn't enough to inspire hip-hop lyrics. This rump fixer-upper puts the junk in all the right parts of your trunk, while sucking in the still unpopular spare tire. (lovemybubbles.com, $55)
Friendship means never having to say, "Oh, I hardly noticed that you have a ginormous pimple on your chin." Help your friend tackle her massive acne problem with this zit treatment from Benefit. It has all the right stuff - salicylic acid and camphor - to sabotage boo-boos, so you can move on to other pressing topics, like her unibrow. (sephora.com, $20) See which other products the Cosmo editors love!
If Slutty McSlutterson is running out of spots to stash her massive collection of condoms, we've got the perfect solution. This chic condom box will hold a dozen rubbers and has a magnetic closure for easy, one-handed access. Just don't ask what she's doing with her other hand. Find how to make condoms more fun. (devinetoys.com, $23)
Is there someone on your list who is so dumb, you sometimes wonder if she has trouble wiping her own ass? Well, we've found the perfect gift for her: the Comfort Wipe, an "arm extension and holder" that adds a full 18 inches to your reach. Check out more wacky products that we couldn't believe actually exist. It's simple, really - first, attach the toilet paper, then reach, wipe, press a button, and pray to god that the button you pressed actually releases the soiled TP into the toilet. (amazon.com, $11.99)
The downside of wearing a Wonderbra is that the second it comes off, you lose all of your oomph. Now, you can boost mosquito-bite-sized boobs the fun way: by eating sweets. These cookies make your breasts grow, but not in the way an extra 20 pounds would. Each cookie is packed with the Japanese herbal breast enhancer Pueraria mirifica. (f.cup-cookies.com, $26.95) Want something to do while the girls grow? Play Cosmo's Cleavage Wars!
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