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    5 Ways to know if you're doing the "right thing"

    Recently, I was hired to write for a sponsored campaign on a well-known media outlet. After accepting the assignment, I realized that the product attached to the campaign was not something I would normally recommend. I was torn: I risked losing the job, the money and the relationship with the media outlet if I expressed my concern, but I couldn't imagine going against my my beliefs. After deliberating over it, I realized that the most ethical thing to do was to honestly communicate my concern to the media outlet.

    Luckily, they deeply respected me and valued my sincerity and ethics, and everything worked out in the end. But more importantly, it felt good to have made the ethical decision and to see the benefit of doing so.

    Life can hand us some difficult situations which can cause us to feel torn about making a decision that is "right" versus "wrong." Further, when you are faced with a difficult situation, the right answer may not always be very popular. But, as the saying implies, the "right thing to do" is almost always the right thing to do. Next time you are confronted with an ethical dilemma, use these "tests" during the decision process and the ethical decision may become much more apparent:

    1. Can You Look Yourself in the Mirror?: You have to be able to live with yourself and your actions. If you know that you can wake up the next day and look yourself in the mirror and feel content with what you have done, you are making the right decision. If you think you'll feel a little embarrassed, ashamed, unsure or regretful, then you are probably making a bad decision.
    2. Trust Your Gut: The old intuition tactic is tried and true. Very few of us lack a conscience or don't carry guilt or remorse from doing something wrong or "unethical." Healthy-minded human-beings have the ability to decipher right from wrong, and when something doesn't sit well or seems questionable, it is most likely because intuition and the gut know better.
    3. The Grandmother Test: Whether or not we grew up knowing our grandparents, we all have a general belief that our elders are wiser and "know better." We tend to want to please our family, show our best qualities and make them proud. When making a decision, think about whether your grandmother or a family member you respect would "approve." If you think they would disapprove, there is a good chance it isn't a good decision.
    4. Physical Test: When we make good decisions that are ethical, we are at peace. It is only when we make poor decisions which we know are unethical do we suffer physical stress. Some symptoms may be a sick stomach, a headache or even chest pains. Good decisions allow our minds and our bodies to relax.
    5. Sleep Test: Don't ever estimate the ability to get a good night sleep. When we live ethically and feel good about how we live our lives and the choices we make, sleep is much easier. When we make bad choices, they keep us up at night. They eat away at us and they make it difficult to be at peace. Think about whether or not you will lie awake at night worrying about your decision. If you tense up just thinking about it, you probably have your answer!

    How do you ensure your decisions are ethical? Have you had to make difficult or unpopular decisions?

    Originally published on Sheerbalance.com


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    11 comments

    • Geo.L  •  10 months ago
      The question posed by this "test" just sorta popped into my head as I deal with my life choices and Googled this basic question. I must admit except for the "Grandmother test" which doesn't really apply because all of my grandparents were born in the 1800's and my dilemma deals with being in a rock and roll band (pursuing it professionally in particular), all the other questions I could feel good about in a micro second. So I guess even though I may never make it big, I don't believe I'm doing anything bad.
      And in the same breath my dad's mother was a school teacher back in the days when every teacher taught every subject including music, so in different times I think she would approve. My mom's mother was sweet and easy-going and came from a musical family so I know in like circumstance she would approve as well. This was never something I could ask them because they were all dead by the time I was barely a teenager and a few years before I actually started playing in rock bands.
      But I know for a fact they hated rock and roll (as did my parents) and think everyone who plays it is a devil worshiper and heroin addict(from the Bible belt). But that's not true, in my case at least.
      If you're thinking I must be 80 years old, no, I'm in my 40's but I was a late baby and both of my parents were as well. My parents were 50-ish when I was born as were all of their parents.
      What brings me to all of this is I got laid off my job of 23 years almost to the day and can't find another day job. I have always been a musician but now I'm trying to put food on my table by playing music alone. Thankfully I am single with no kids so I don't have any one else to consider. But I always wonder if this is what God intended for me? I just know I never wanted to do or really enjoyed anything else. I've dabbled in many things but music is the only constant in terms of earthly pursuits.
      Hank
    • wasnt me  •  10 months ago
      You have so much wisdom.Really,WOW!Your colum really helped me today.Ive been having problems concerning my parents.I thought i was making a mistake until I read this.Thankyou,Im at peace with it know ;)
    • Melissa  •  2 years 2 months ago
      Almost every decision I make in my life turns out to be "unpopular." But guess what? I don't lose any sleep, and I am at perfect peace because deep down inside I always know I did the right thing for me. I don't make decisions lightly, I meditate and ask God for help, and follow that inner spirit that guides me. So regardless of what anyone else thinks, at the end of the day, I know I am right with my Creator and that's all that matters. And more often than not, time proves me right so the older I get the more I really do trust my inner voice.
    • Joy in Seattle  •  2 years 1 month ago
      "The right thing" doesn't really exist. One person's moral code will not be the same as someone else's. One person may come to completely different conclusions when faced with the same problem than another. What might be "the right thing" for you may be completely wrong for someone else.

      In fact, the entire concept of "the right thing" has started hundreds of wars and lead to the death of billions. Don't delude yourself that you're doing "the right thing." You are doing your thing. It's the only option you've got.
    • mother3  •  2 years 1 month ago
      great advice
    • Brett Blumenthal - Sheer ...  •  2 years 1 month ago
      Karen...sounds like you have a lot on your plate! I have heard this story over and over again. Things aren't worth having unless you have to work for them or have to make some sacrifices. Otherwise, they are easily taken for granted.

      As far as whether or not you should finish, it really depends on your goals. Have you asked local venues if this degree is required for a job? Do you REALLY want a job in this profession? It is important to understand what is driving you, where you want to go, and what your priorities are. If you quit, will you look back and wish you didn't? 6 more months or so really isn't a lot. The 200 hour externship will be fun...it will be what you want to do...it will be an entre into the profession you are looking towards.

      Try to prioritize your sleep patterns a bit more. Ask your husband to help out more and explain that it is only short term until you finish. Your health is very important, and sleep is vital to performing the best that you can. It is also vital to your ability to think clearly.

      Hope that helps.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  2 years 1 month ago
      I am faced with some large and life changing decisions in my life right now, as I am basicly starting my life over in a new area and beginning graduate school towards a new career. I lost my home in a Short Sale a few weeks ago, and to be honest, everything right now is a huge leap of faith. Fortunately, I only have myself to care for, and am not married, or have any children. I agree with most of the above within the article....all except for the "grandmother" part. I have been taking advice and caring about what my family thinks my whole life. It is time that I live for me, and make decisions based upon my needs and my direction - and not whether or not I feel that they will approve. But can I look myself in the mirror? Yes, and that is the most important..
    • ipoisonyou  •  2 years 1 month ago
      I'am 40 yeas still making mastake time to time..even now i'm btw don't know if i feel like s--- or i feel good lol but still i never think of God..will help me in anyhow..hmm i turst my inner voice too, but sometime 1 in 1000 can also be wrong.. i think time will bring me up and fix me,but the most i hate..everytime when it happen i will use time too trust ppl again.
    • Brett Blumenthal - Sheer ...  •  2 years 1 month ago
      Joy...you are right. However, these are good tests to know if you are doing the "right thing" for yourself.
    • ShiningLight  •  2 years 1 month ago
      Karen,
      Don't quit. Your tired and not thinking straight. Follow this through. You CAN do it. You have to try. You can't give up or you will always regret it.
      Tara,
      I too have to give up the family approval thing. Mostly they are wrong for me and it took me a long long long time to accept that.
    • Karen  •  2 years 1 month ago
      Not even a real ethical decision to be made her, but when I saw the title of this article and the words "right thing for you" it made me think of my current situation. I am older and have always wanted to be employed in a culinary profession. After years of taking care of husbands and kids, I finally decided to get educated so that I could have a job doing what I love. Now, I am wondering if I made the right decision. I am paying very good money to attend college evenings. I must continue my full time day job to help pay the mortgage. The school is fifty miles away and so I must travel an additional 300 miles round trip every week to attend. It isn't that I didn't think this through, but I don't think that until you are actually doing it that you know how demanding it is. I'm constantly tired. Can barely walk by Friday of each week. I love class. My pride is the only thing keeping me from dropping out of classes. I don't want anyone to think I'm a quitter and this is the only medium where I can actually say this out olud (write about it). Please, I hope someone has some input. Should I continue becuase chances are it will all be worth it in the end. Should I quit, get a good night's sleep and get my life back? Should I stay in, be done with school this December and then have to tackle a 200 hour externship in order to graduate? I'm so confused and tired.

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