Career advice for grads, and the rest of us

I wish that someone had told me to go to a state college and avoid massive student loan debt. I had no concept of the cost of an education and really believed it was my ticket out of the class I was born into. Instead, the *only* debt I am carrying are my student loans; the payments for which, I cannot afford (unless I just want to make giant interest payments for the rest of my life which feels futile and self-defeating)
I don't really mind having the debt, but no one tells you that an education doesn't come with a guarantee regarding your financial future (other than the debt part, and I worked full time while I was in school to pay for a portion of my tutition for 8 years). I believed those statistics I looked up before going to graduate school, the ones that said that said people with a Master's in my field make $100,000 a year. I thought it was that simple. I feel a little stupid now for believing it. I'm not sure anyone can prepare you for the kinds of things you'll face as an adult, the kinds of choices you'll have to make or the complications a career can present. I was not prepared to build a professional identity. I lacked a certain conviction and ability to buy clothes, had no idea how to 'present' myself and felt I was missing an entire skill set that had nothing to do with how smart I was. It was a social grooming, unavailable to the people I grew up around (Although my mother grew up in middle class, she rejected it and traded it in for martydom in the 'victim-hood', and failed to teach her daughters certain basics that we had no idea how to even *begin* to understand or apply in our own lives.)
I think it's difficult for people to move up from lower social ranks and that education is only one peice of that puzzle. There was little support or guidance for the...? other aspects of upward mobility. I took courses in sociology, mostly to understand the world around me and how I could fit myself into a new part of it. I knew where I came from but I didn't understand where I thought I wanted to go. I envied it and feared it because I envied it, but mostly, I didn't understand anything about it.
Now I have a greater understanding of the world, an appreciation and love of really beautiful parts of life (including the places I come from), but still haven't figured out a means for really moving forward. Still living a $30,000 reality and still unsure of how to push through that?
I also believe it's a process that will unfold in its own time. I don;t think it's possible to rush learning. I wish it were, because I'd rather just 'be there'. All these redundant lessons leave me feeling like a moron more often than not; why haven't I figured it out yet? Why am I still chasing my own tail?
The number one thing I would tell graduates, though, "Don't worry." I have no idea where I'm going, but the ride continues to amaze me. :)

First and for most, people got to realize you need educational learning and financial learning to get where you want to be in this crazy world.

Lizbeth, I agree with everything u stated. 1) Go to a cheap college (unless it is ivy league). 2) Lack of a model to teach you social grooming (I didn't have that) could hurt u. I was raised to believe that hard work and being nice takes you far. Who knew that peers and bosses admire the aggressiveemployees and kiss ups? Additionally, I wish someone told me to go to an early prestigious high school to learn better etiquette and speaking skills and promote your ego and confidence to the extreme. I grew up in the city, underdeveloped neighborhood, and went to city schools. My parents are immigrants and in my culture, it's wrong for a child, especially a girl,to express your opinions, wants, and needs. I've never practiced it, and do not have the experience to use them to my advantage in society.

3) I'm lost at establishing my professional identity as well (I don't know why that is, can't narrow down the reasons) and it could be detrimental to your future. Grads, some of you may find that your original career path may not be what you want to stay in for the next 10 to 20 years. Some people may get burnout or they don't have the stomach for it. If you get to that point, don't feel like you've disappointed yourself or anyone. That's life for some.

One important thing...Always communicate - always ask questions to your peers and bosses. Who cares if they think it sounds stupid. You're better off getting clarification than make mistakes.

Another thing, it's ok to have 2 jobs (a part time one). I was too prideful to consider taking up a second job earlier because I have a Master's degree, but the degree is not paying off and I have bills to pay. In the end, it's about surviving in this world, not about making an impact.

Lizabeth and others life does not come with guarantees but useful knowledge is power.

Very well written!

Lobster, yes! I'm so glad you spoke. We need more voices who are trying to make that social climb. Anyone is capable of learning, of becoming educated and thus advancing their understanding and appreciation of what life CAN be, but that social grooming and role modeling is often missing. Espcially for people who are the first to go to college in thier families (like myself and, it sounds like you too)
In many cases, there may be mixed feelings from parents regarding their child's success (they want you to succeed, but it goes against culture, or they're afraid you'll think you're 'better' than your own blood, or they will envy your success, as in my sister's case-she became a nurse, which was my mother's dream, and now all she does is attack my sister's success and belittle it, saying it's not that hard, she's not that smart and every nurse gets the advance-placement opportunities she has gotten her first year out of school)
Yes, we can move forward, and yes we will face challenges, but I think the kinds of challeneges we face are unique to where we're coming from and the path to integration is often cloudy. This is one area of research that seems untapped. I'd love to hear more voices from the climb!
I'd also like to add that I'm not speaking from a place of 'victim'. I'm greatful for the opportunities I have, I just wish there were more resources for role modeling, support and guidance along the way because in many cases, parents cannot offer their children guidnace from one social position to the next. I feel like I have so much to offer and a strong desire to share what I have, but no recipe as to how to put it all together.

Couple of more advices:
1) Pick up a hobby. You're going to need a stress reliever or an escape from life's downs.
2) Don't try to keep up with the Jones's. It was fun to show off your new purchaes, but it ain't fun to have to auction it off.
3) Triple check your work. When in doubt, holler out.
4) Don't believe what others say, always ask two or three other people.
5) Getting promoted isn't just about being rewarded for one great project. It's about discipline, getting your work done right, make sure the people who are your peers and those who look up to you understand the work, the department. Inform others and make sure you allow open communication.
6) Life is never a straight path. You're going to experience some bumps and diversions and don't think you can read this and say, "ok, i'm going to hit those bumps and diversions, and things are going to be normal again. No worries." Please think and please worry for a little bit so that a lesson can be learned and you can be more prepared in the further future.
7) You're no Jesus, nun, or God. Emotions can seep their way into your profession. You're going to feel a few vices: anger, jealousy, unfairness - which apparently these days may get you to the corner office - and unfortunately on other times may cost you your profession, reputation, etc. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't feel that way. Heck, peers and superiors feel that way too. But you'll know it will bother when you realize you have to visit the Church of God AND the Buddhis Temple on the same week. Pls try to control the emotions as best u can.
8) We humans have abused the saying "Not professional". It no longer serves the intent of defining manners, etiquette, being civilized and cultured in a work environment. It's used as an attack from one unprofesssional to another. "Not professional" has become a cover-up expletive with a double meeting. C'mon with management changes, lawsuits, and peers walking over each other at work...you can't keep a professional attitude. You're always going to attack when being attacked.

We are really no different from the wilderbeasts trying to survive in the jungles.

nice!

I wish there was a book that delve more into the impacts that social status, personalities, and culture have on your careers. I want to know if more people experience humiliation and embarrasment in their career field because one can enumerate words or make a persusasive speech, or one gets burned because you're too nice, among other issues. I didn't think it was a problem or maybe I'm being too conscientious about it, but my personality, humble and nice, is not wanted in corporate America.