by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
DEAR WHYS GUY:
I've lost and kept off 135 pounds. I'm coming out of a bad marriage and I know nothing about dating. How can I expect a man to be attracted to a woman who, let's face it, looks like an empty gym sock naked?
-Jacki, CA
Related: How to Have a Better Relationship
DEAR JACKI:
First of all, good for you for making big life changes. That stuff isn't easy. You're hard-core, and you should be proud of that. Getting over this hang-up should be simple in comparison.
Related: Get-Close Secrets for You and Your Guy
You've got some loose skin? You know what? I've got hair on every part of my body except my head. I'm like a middle-aged Sasquatch. My point is, who do you think there is out there in the dating pool? Guys like me. Hairy guys, fat guys, skinny guys, bald guys, messed-up-teeth guys, halitosis guys, guys with big ears, love handles and acne on their backs. Everybody has some equivalent to your "empty gym sock." The playing field is level, even if you don't realize it.
Related: Dear Whys Guy: "Do Guys Believe in Finding One True Love?"
Also, remember what loose skin represents: your strength and determination. It's the physical proof of how hard-core you are, and any guy who doesn't appreciate it is too soft for you to bother with anyway.
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Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at redbook@hearst.com with Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.
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