Right now I know I am taking this deployment better than the first one. I didn't sit outside my house all day and night, I haven't just sat in front of my bed and fell asleep on the floor, and I'm eating (sorta). When everyone said the second one would be the hardest my imagination took over and left my whole life behind. But when yesterday came time seemed to take forever and yet fly right on by. My husband and I were both upset b/c this goodbye inclueded me running into the gym with his food and handing it over giving him one quick kiss and a hug goodbye. I made it out the gym doors and broke down. When I looked at my cell and saw that I had to get to work everything just went in slow motion. I even got pulled over and it never crossed my mind to just pull over and just let it all out. By the time I got home. Our dog had ate my flip flop and peed on what was left of it. I couldn't blame her. I just turned on the tv and noticed hells kitchen was on and jumped online. Yes my hubby called and let me know that he made it from tx to the east cost and was now taking off to go over seas. I woke up this morning to our dog lying on the space bags that have his clothing in it or did have some of his stuff in it but now all over the floor. The smell, musky, warm, hot sex, and sleepy settling smells are sill everywhere. I woke up thinking he was still there. The apartment is quiet and the lights are no longer on. just windows open. I'm thankful to be moving home in three weeks. Finish up work, finish clearing the apartment and pick up my last pay check. then head out the door. I'm just feeling alone, empty, depressed, sore as heck, drunk. and sluggish.
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