Do you have a "Heidi" in your life?

I admit it: I'm a sucker for The Hills. So much so, that I found myself crying when Lauren and Heidi hugged in a boozy, drunken lovefest at the end of the first episode of Season Five.


One of the things I love about the show is that they don't trivialize how complicated it is to love your friends-I feel like that's something that's not really highlighted that much in society. I know a lot of times when I was the age Heidi and Lauren were I wondered if I was normal for feeling so much love and jealousy and anger and passion toward a friend.

My best friend in college was almost like a romantic relationship, although I didn't realize it until after we stopped being friends. We lived together, took the same classes, would write endless e-mails back and forth and told each other we loved each other at the end of a phone conversation.

The beginning of the end was when we went to London for study abroad together. She got a boyfriend, and I didn't. And I was jealous and angry and we once went traveling to Italy together only to have a hugely passionate blowout on the Rialto bridge in Venice. When we came back to school, we weren't friends and would not talk to each other, ever. I have no idea where she is now. I look back and remember the good times: how we would swap shoes midway through a party, how we would make s'mores in the microwaves and stay up until dawn, talking about life, how we both wanted to start a magazine together.

But, in the end, I don't feel sad or jealous or mad-she was a good friend for that period in my life. But I think ultimately, we were so close that is was destructive-in a similar way to how Heidi and Lauren seem to be way too enmeshed in each other. They need to learn to let go a lot, or I think maybe it would be best if they did go their separate ways.

I saw my own "Heidi" a few weeks ago at a busy brunch place in my neighborhood. I was meeting a friend, she was with a boy. We looked at each other, I felt my heart pounding, then we looked away. There was too much and nothing to say. But if I could say something to her, I'd tell her that I'm sorry that we made such a big deal out of nothing, I'm sorry that everything seemed so Shakespearian at the time, I wish her the best, and I'll always have fond memories of the bald chia pet we had mutually custody of that we had in our tiny dorm room sophomore year.

What about you? Do you have a Heidi or Lauren in your life? And are you still friends with her? And what would you say to her?

RELATED LINKS FROM REDBOOK:
Friends for Life
What a Friend's Divorce Means for your Marriage
Real Life Social Networking: Find Your New Best Friend!
Hey, Girlfriend!
Get More on Love, Family & Fashion - Subscribe to Redbook & Save up to 82%!